Episode 108 – The One Where We Do It Like The Discovery Channel

In this weeks show god swipes left on 6 kids lives because his lawyer advised him to stay out of the Spotlight after that messy Malawi sex-buse case.
 
Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Kukulcan (the Mayan supreme god of creation) hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying his patience!
 
Shea’s Life Lesson
This week I learned that there is an age a woman hits when calling her a “big girl” goes from being a compliment to being an insult…
 
Jenn’s Actual Lesson
Did you know the word _Islam_ means “submission,” derived from the Arabic word for peace, salaam?
But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!
 

This Week’s Beer

Pelican Brewing (pre-prohibition Cream ale)
  • BA: 84
  • ABV: 5.4%
  • Aaron: 10
  • Jenn: 6
  • Shea: 10
  • Steve: 9

This Week’s Show

Round Table Discussion
Text message
I listen to your podcast through an app called Podcast Addict. I have to say, your show has a setup to navigate to each story throughout the episode. That is some top tier innovation for podcasts. Also, your listener base is broadening down here in Louisiana, keep up the great work.
Email from Rebecca
Subject: Episode 107. Guy with cock “ring”
Thanks so much for your email!
 
iTunes reviews
5-star review
rag-tag band of friends you want to drink with after work and lifeby: Mrs.Yeti (United States)Took me long enough to do this! Listening to the post-election episode further cemented in my mind that this is a necessary and helpful show, especially in Wyoming and like places, to remind people they’re not alone, inferior or wrong. Listening helped me get through the last couple weeks. Jim’s personal portion took my breath away and punched me in the gut. I’ve listened since almost day 1 and love laughing along with you guys at times and rolling my eyes, presumably along with Jenn. I’m Christian, I hate hypocrisy, and I love the show. You guys are the best and I hope to have you all in my garage for many years to come.
5-star review by
David the Oxford (United States)
Best podcast in the world. Did I mention that I love beer and I think religion is a bunch of nonsense? Well let me finish my beer, yum, “religion is a bunch of nonsense.” Keep up the great work, see y’all at reason con.

Headlines

Brain Dead Child Molester Apparently has a Lawyerhttp://bit.ly/2fyIEuH
  • Convicted child molester, David Alan Lessor, in court for a sentencing hearing, said he’d fired his third lawyer but didn’t need a new one
  • The judge, Miriam Gropper, advised him that he needs a lawyer for this serious matter, but … well let’s let him speak for himself:
  • Lessor said: “I have a lawyer. His name is Jesus Christ and he’s representing me in this courtroom today. And he’s going to speak truly today and going to address this court today providing you give me that opportunity.”
  • After complaining about getting an unfair trial, the judge told him the conviction stands, where Lessor said, “But my Jesus Christ, my Lord and my saviour, has forgiven me and pardoned me and found me not guilty.”
  • Lessor warned the judge that what she said and what Crown counsel Kristin Bryson said was “being heard by all of heaven. I’m going to strongly advise you that my God will send his angels to deliver me from your hands. So let’s proceed.”
  • The judge said she would proceed and asked Bryson to begin giving her submissions on sentencing, but Lessor again objected. “I think we should stand down,” he said. “This isn’t right. I need to talk to a lawyer about an appeal.”
 
Horrible Cunt blames “God’s Will” for her reckless son killing 6 children
  • School bus driver, Johnthony Walker (let’s take a minute here to make fun of that stupid-ass name), recklessly killed 6 and hospitalized 12, of the 37 grade-school aged students on his bus last week.
  • According to officials, he was driving well above the 30 MPH posted speed and swerved off the road, right, then left striking a driveway, mailbox, telephone pole and tree
  • Elementary School Principal Brenda Adamson-Cothran said via email that on Nov. 16, five days before the crash, “Six students reported that the bus driver of the red bus (366) was swerving and purposely trying to cause them to fall today.”
  • Walker, 24, now faces five counts of vehicular homicide, reckless endangerment and reckless driving.
  • Walker’s mother has this to say, “My heart of love is going out for all that was in harm’s way of God’s will,” she said. “Sending out mine and our condolences to every family that God touched yesterday in this horrible accident. And I am asking for compassion also for my son.”
  • FUCK HER!
Stop telling people that their atheist license plates are obscene http://bit.ly/2fyKNH3
  • Ben Hart tried to get a personalized plate for his car in Kentucky saying, “IM GOD”
  • He was turned down by the kentucky Division of Motor Vehicle officials claiming that the request was “obscene or vulgar,” but then later saying it was because the plate was “not in good taste.”
  • Mr. Hart had had the exact same plate in Ohio, where he’d lived for the past 12 years.
  • So now, as expected, The ACLU of Kentucky and the Freedom From Religion Foundation have now [filed a lawsuit on behalf of Ben Hart against the state’s DMV
  • The lawsuit challenges certain regulations governing personalized plates such as allowing govt. officials to deny plates based on vague notions of “good taste” as well as those barring personalized plates from communicating religious, anti-religious or political messages.
  • “Under the First Amendment, government officials do not have the authority to censor messages simply because they dislike them,” says ACLU-KY Legal Director William Sharp. “And in this instance, personalized license plates are a form of individual speech equally deserving of First Amendment protection.”

This Week’s Stories

Jenn’s Story – Spotlight on ‘Spotlight’ (2015) http://imdb.to/2fyQapo
  • The true story of how the Boston Globe uncovered the massive scandal of child molestation and cover-up within the local Catholic Archdiocese, shaking the entire Catholic Church to its core.
  • Winner of this year’s Academy Award for Best Picture.
  • Would be an excellent double feature (information-wise) with 2006 documentary ‘Deliver Us From Evil’. – http://imdb.to/2fyJs2K
  • Documentary about Father Oliver O’Grady, a Catholic priest who was relocated to various parishes around the United States during the 1970s in an attempt by the Catholic Church to cover up his rape of dozens of children.
Shea’s Story – Swipe Left for Jesus – http://bit.ly/2fyO3So
  • Roman Catholic archdiocese has launched what is thought to be the world’s first interactive GPS-powered “confession finder”.
Aaron’s Story – Malawi Hyena Man Jailed 2 Years Over Traditional Sexual Customshttp://bit.ly/2fyJt6I
  • Malawi police arrested Eric Aniva in July, following orders from Malawi President Peter Mutharika.
  • Eric Aniva earlier told both local and international media that he slept with more than 100 young girls and widows during an initiation ceremony known as “Kusasa Fumbi” or “Removing Dust,” and “Fisi” or Hyena.
  • Fisi is a traditional custom in southern Malawi: a man is hired and paid to have sex with widows allegedly to exorcise evil spirits that may bring death to the bereaved family.
  • Kusasa Fumbi is another custom practiced in the area: hiring a man to sleep with young girls who have reached puberty in order to prepare them for married life… you know, training wheels rape….
  • “We feel there are a lot of errors in the judgment which has occasioned the actual miscarriage of justice. Despite all the allegations that were made as to hundreds of women that were violated or used, not even 10 or five were brought to court to testify that this guy violated us or forced us to do this,” said Chipeta proving that lawyers suck everywhere…
  • The verdict has attracted anger and resentment among people in Nsanje.
  • Dinwell Ching’oma is one of them. He said the sentencing of Aniva will never stop them from performing their cultural practices.
  • “What government should have done is to teach us to reform our culture. For example, if they just advised us that we should first go for HIV testing before we engage in any cultural practice that involves sex,” said Ching’oma.
  • Nsanje district is rich in cultural practices that require men to sleep with women. Besides Fisi and Kusasa Fumbi, there are four more cultural practices that require men sleeping with women.
  • One of them is Dzwande, in which a man is hired to sleep with a single mother when her newly born baby is six months old. Village elders say the aim is to keep the baby away from disease.
  • A hyena is a traditional position in some parts of southern Malawi, held by a man who initiates young women into adulthood through sex. A hyena is a man paid to have sex with young women between the ages of 12–17, as a part of a rite of passage called “kusasa fumbi” (‘brushing off the dust’), (sexual cleansing). The rite lasts for three days. Hyenas are paid from $4 to $7 each time. The rite is believed to prevent disease. Hyenas are chosen for their moral character and are believed to be incapable of catching diseases such as HIV/AIDS. It can place the young girls at risk of HIV infection because the hyena has sexual intercourse with all the girls and the ritual requires the exchange of sexual fluids so condoms are not used. – http://bit.ly/2fyQaFU
  • It is also practiced in Kenya, Zambia, Uganda, Tanzania, Mozambique, Ghana, Angola, Ivory Coast, Congo, and Nigeria.

Next Week’s Beer

Hiatus | Renegade Brewing Company Cold Coffee-infused Oatmeal Ale

Faith In Humanity Restored

Girl Finds Discarded Winning Lotto Ticket, Uses Money to Feed Homeless – http://bit.ly/2gS6yOb
 

Bonus Cat Video