Episode 120 – The One Where Shelley Segal Sells Seashells to Seagulls

In this week’s show, episode 120, Shelley Says Seagulls In The Second Section By the Sea Shore!

Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Papa (the Maori Mother Earth goddess) hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying her patience!

Shea’s Life LessonThis week I learned that the easiest way to boil an egg without using a costly egg timer, is to pop an egg into a pot of boiling water and get in your car and drive in a straight line at 60 miles an hour and as soon as you get three miles call your wife to take the eggs out!

Jenn’s Actual LessonDid you know that, according to the North American Menominee Tribe, the Aurora Borealis was created by a friendly tribe of giants? They were called manabai’wok and the Northern lights were caused by their torches as they went about fishing and hunting in the dark.

Shelley Segal Says Hi!

  • http://www.shelleysegal.com
  • https://www.patreon.com/ShelleySegal
  • https://twitter.com/ShelleySegal
  • https://www.facebook.com/shelley.segal.music
  • https://shelleysegal.bandcamp.com

But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!

This Week’s Beer

Grunion – Ballast Point

  • BA Score: 91
  • ABV: 5.5
  • Style: APA
  • BA Link: http://bit.ly/2kPtCzs
  • Aaron: 7
  • Jenn: 8
  • Shelly: 8
  • Shea: 8
  • Steve: 8
  • Rob: 4
  • Natalie: 8

This Week’s Show

Round Table Discussion
Big thanks to Jaded Zappa in Colorado for sending us a 6pack of Left-Hand Brewing Nitro Milk Stout.
We’ll enjoy these soon!

We got voice mail messages from Shane from Calgary Loves Shea!, Felicia of Utah Outcasts, and Heathen Mother sent a message regarding our mention of republicans removing rules disallowing the arming of the developmental disabled.
Find the Utah Outcasts at http://utahoutcasts.com

If you want to leave a message then give us a ring at (513) 760–0463

Headlines

Hammy is at it again – http://bit.ly/2lBOGdX

  • We all know that Ken Ham is a dipshit young-earth creationist, that’s not news. He tells everyone who will listen to this himself.
  • He believes that the earth is only about 6000 years old (beer has been around longer than that)
  • Now he’s tweeted about his latest soon-to-be-added addition to his dumbass Ark Park, posting pictures of the exhibit
  • They’re building a diorama of pre-flood wickedness, featuring battles between humans, giants, and dinosaurs fighting in a Roman type arena
  • Holy shit this guy is a fucking moron. I realize that is an ad-hominem attack, but he makes it so easy.

Ashville idiot pastor has a problem with dollshttp://avlne.ws/2lQwRui

Available to Patrons at http://patreon.com/w4w 

  • After watching a story on Good Morning America, Rev. Keith Ogden, of Ashville’s Hill Street Baptist Church had a mental tizzy-fit
  • He sent a message to his followers titled,

“KILLING THE MINDS OF MALE BABIES.”

  • The story is that American Girl (owned by toy giant Mattel) introduced a GASP male doll named Logan
  • American Girl said that a male doll has been a top request for decades
  • Well, righteous crusader, Dipshit Ogden, won’t have it. I’ll just let this narrow-minded putz speak for himself…

“There are those in this world who want to alter God’s creation of the male and female,” he wrote. “The devil wants to kill, steal and destroy the minds of our children and grandchildren by perverting, distorting and twisting (the) truth of who God created them to be.”

“Now you are going to have little boys playing with baby dolls and that’s not cool,” he said. “We need to get back to our old values and morals.”

“It just doesn’t make sense,” Ogden said. “It’s not natural for a boy to act like a girl. It’s not natural for a girl to want to be a boy. …You’ve got the government and people who placate this mess instead of telling little boys they can’t change their biology.”

No word on whether he’s ever heard of GI Joe (though that’s probably okay since he kicks ass)
Dipshit Rednecks lie to cover dipshittyness – http://wapo.st/2lQv2NQ

  • Fuckhead hunting guides, Walker Daugherty and Michael Bryant, were leading a hunting party in southern Texas very near the Mexico border when gunfire erupted injuring Daugherty and one of the people they were leading
  • The asshole guides said that they’d been attacked by immigrants who’d crossed over from Mexico and wanted to steal their RV
  • They said further that the immigrants wanted to kill everyone in the party.
  • They raised over $26K from a Gofundme. Texas moron Agriculture Commissioner, Sid Miller, shared it to 400K followers on facebook saying,

“This is why we need the wall and to secure our borders,”

It was all a fucking lie.

  • Suspicious authorities called out the border patrol who found no evidence of an illegal crossing, there were no unidentified shell casings and no signs of pedestrian traffic to or from the ranch
  • What really happened, Sheriff Dominguez said, was much simpler and less nefarious: Daugherty shot his client, and Bryant shot Daugherty.

This Week’s Show

The Shelley Segal Seagull Quiz!!
Question 1California seagulls are known to be incredibly smart, as we can see in the studio tonight. Similarly to our guest they also are known to migrate inland, often through farmlands. What major western city has grown to revere seagulls, even going so far as to build a stone monument to them, after the gulls appeared and saved the local crops from insects?
Hint: They saw the birds as a sign of Elohim
Answer: Salt Lake City

Question 2 – Unlike Shelley, seagulls are not known for their songs, though they do have some other useful adaptations. One of them you can see on many gull species, a prominent spot on their beak. Adolescent gulls will peck at this spot, causing the adult bird to do what?
Hint: Human children are known to poke their parents for this same reason
Answer: It causes the adult to feed the babies by regurgitating their food.

Question 3 – Across the world, local governments have installed bristle-covered poles, sticky tiles, and even trained falcons to keep seagulls away. In fact, Postal workers have been taken off duty in seagull hot spots to keep them safe from what bizarre behavior?
Hint: Hitchcock may have been on to something…
Answer: The bird gets fiercely territorial and have been known, in many cases, to attack humans.

Question 4 – In many Native American cultures animals represent different attributes and are often looked at as a totem, seagulls are no different. What symbolism does the seagull represent?
Hint: Many of these traits I would say I see in you.
Answer: carefree attitude, versatility, freedom (http://bit.ly/2lQEaC5)

Question 5 – It is well known that seagulls use many different feeding methods, from dropping mollusks on hard rocks to break them open to stomping their feet on the ground tricking worms into believing it’s raining. One of my favorite feeding techniques comes from the Heermann’s Gull whose method could be easily be confused with what impulse control disorder?

Hint: Winona Ryder allegedly has this disorder.

Answer: Kleptomania

Next Week’s Beer

Palor Hoppenbetontes Pale Ale – Braufactum

Donated by German Denis

  • BA Score: 84
  • ABV: 5.2
  • Style: EPA
  • BA Link: http://bit.ly/2kwbrCJ

Faith In Humanity Restored

Same-sex marriage laws linked to fewer youth suicide attempts, new study (and anyone with human emotions) sayshttp://to.pbs.org/2lBW6h9

  • Legalization of same-sex marriage appears to be linked to a decrease in adolescent suicide, based on a new analysis published today in JAMA Pediatrics. The results give more context to the potential effects of social policy on mental health.
  • The study took place during a period where the suicide rate generally rose in the U.S., highlighting the fact that more intervention is still needed.
  • Suicide is the 10th-leading cause of death in the U.S. and the second for people aged 10 to 24. But young LGB people are particularly affected, attempting suicide at four times the rate of straight youth, according to the Trevor Project, an organization that works to prevent suicide among LGBT youth.

“It’s a real risk factor, a feeling that you’re at odds with your family or community,” Schwartz said. “It’s very painful, and can be very frightening. You feel like you’re going to be left out on your own.”

Before we go, if you or someone you know is struggling with suicide please call The Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386 or visit them online at www.thetrevorproject.org 

NEED HELP? WE ARE HERE FOR YOU 24/7: 1-866-488-7386

Bonus Cat Video

  • Do Robots Deserve Rights? What if Machines Become Conscious? – http://bit.ly/2lBRJD3
  • How MLK Composed ‘I Have A Dream’ – http://bit.ly/2lQEZuF
  • Covering Rock Classics on the Ancient Gayageum – http://bit.ly/2lQGCbN
  • This 1,100-Year-Old Beer’s For You: Recreating Ancient Ales – http://bit.ly/2lQncne

Join The Discussion

We’d love to hear from you!To comment on a show or suggest a brew visit our web, twitter or Facebook pages. As always, we’d love to get a good rating on iTunes or Stitcher!

Thanks Shelley!