Episode 122 – The One Where Texas Quacks Like A Goose

In this week’s show, episode 122, dirty cops toss aborted potatoes at a preacher’s inflat-a-butt so Indian zombies don’t eat all our health care.

Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, whileAeolus, the Greek god of wind and air (because it’s windy as a motherfucker here this week) hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying his patience!

Shea’s Life Lesson

This week I learned that convincing your wife she is crazy or paranoid is called gaslighting and it’s a dick move. And convincing her she’s a replicant with artificially implanted human emotions is called bladerunning and it’s a Phillip K. Dick move.

But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!

This Week’s Beer

Ale To The Chief – Avery

Donated by Steve’s friends… and then Steve… Apparently, no one wants a drink that makes them think about Cheetozilla…

This Week’s Show

Round Table Discussion

We had a few communications!

David the Ox texted us to let us know that…

Lance Henriksen was also killed by a predator, a terminator and an alien. I will now finish listening to the podcast in case y’all say the answer.

Thanks! That was driving me nuts and I’m also too lazy to Google stuff or do any real show prep  ~A

German Denis left us what is, in all likelihood, the most honest voicemail we’ve ever had!

And, for the record, we don’t know what we were trying to say either…

We also got a voicemail from… someone… who said that Shea was his spirit animal and that Big Gay Jim was the best!

We totally agree.

Unfortunately, as happens sometimes, the message is a little messy so we’ll skip the audio but we wanted to say thanks and keep’em coming!

Nothing makes us feel like a real grown-up podcast quite like people leaving us a message at (513) 760–0463.

We’re getting some t-shirts made for ourselves to wear at ReAsonCon in April and we thought we’d throw it out to our listeners too.

If you’re interested in a Waiting 4 Wrath t-shirt, email us at[email protected] and let us know what you like. We’re thinking the black logo on a white shirt, or our preference, a white logo on a black t-shirt.

We’re open to whatever, so tell us what you think. Right now it looks like they’ll come in at around $20-25 each.

Headlines

Transtexanhttp://bit.ly/2lJu2Me

  • Texas has a new anti-transgender bill (SB6) scheduled for first hearing this week (underway still as we record)
  • The hearing began with state Sen. Lois Kolkhorst, R-Brenham, explaining that she intended her bill to protect privacy and codify “what has been accepted practice in Texas and elsewhere for decades.”
  • Would prohibit transgender-friendly bathroom, locker-room and changing room policies in public schools, universities and in government buildings
  • Would overturn city and county requirements for transgender bathrooms
  • Prohibit cities and counties from withholding contracts based on a company’s bathroom policy
  • Conservative groups have launched a massive media campaigns to push passage, including Vision America, Texas Values, and others. Fortunately, the ACLU is also working to promote actual true information against the bill.

Stop Using The E-Word!http://on.wusa9.com/2nl4cKI

  • Fuckhead, Nathan Daniel Larson of Prince William County, VA, was convicted of threatening to kill President Obama in 2009
  • He served a 16-month sentence and three years of probation, then had his voting rights restored by Governor, Terry McAuliffe
  • Now that he’s once again eligible, he is running for state house, after turning in enough signatures
  • proposes the suppression of women’s rights, including the right to vote, “I think women want male leadership, and so men have to be strong,”
  • believes that fathers should be able to marry their daughters. In his view, fathers have a greater interest in taking care of their offspring, as opposed to men who marry into the family.
  • He lost a run for the same house in 2008, running as a Libertarian

This Week’s Stories

Shea’s Story

Texas Knows Bestest – http://bit.ly/2nkPfbL

  • Because Roe vs. Wade wasn’t enough and as we heard last week, women are out of their mind 25% of the time because of periods, lawmakers in Texas, last week managed to push through a bill that would allow doctors not to tell patients if something was wrong with their unborn child.
  • Why?! You may ask, Because it’s possible that if you know that there are fetal abnormalities — ranging from severe disabilities to the possibility that the child could be stillborn, or born with its brain outside of its head, or something like that — then you might consider the perfectly legal procedure known as an abortion.
  • Right now if doctors intentionally withhold that kind of information from you, you can sue them
  • Conservatives dislike this because they believe that a doctor who is opposed to abortion should not have to tell patient things that may cause them to want an abortion, and also because they are largely opposed to malpractice lawsuits
  • The legislators pushing this bill say they’re doing it because they care so very much about the rights of the disabled… though not enough, apparently, that they’d accept a Medicaid expansion so that poor women who give birth to children with severe disabilities can afford to care for them. But they absolutely adore them right up until the moment they exit the womb.
  • Rachel Tiddle, a woman who testified at yesterday’s hearing
  • Rachel Tiddle, who unknowingly carried a fetus with severe abnormalities, said if she knew her fetus had severe health issues, she would have tried one of many experimental therapies to try and save her baby’s life.
  • Instead, she gave birth to a stillborn baby.

“It’s not a doctor’s right to manipulate the family by lying, and it is not [a] doctor’s right to decide whether an experimental therapy is worth trying,” Tiddle told the committee. “There is always the chance, there is always hope.”

Luckily the bill has a few more steps it needs to take, unluckily it’s in Texas…

Qwakery – Butt-ery

Transgender ‘toxic tush doctor’ who ‘injected women with super glue, cement, and tire sealant’ – http://dailym.ai/2nl3pK0

  • Oneal Ron Morris, ‘left women ill and disfigured after illegal surgery’
  • She allegedly injected ‘patients’ with super glue, tire sealant, and cement
  • She is facing seven charges, including manslaughter after woman died
  • In addition to multiple counts of practicing medicine without a license with serious bodily injury, she is also facing a manslaughter charge after one of her ‘patients’ died following surgery.
  • The victim, Shatarka Nuby, passed away from acute and chronic respiratory failure reportedly caused by the silicone used in the procedure while serving time in a Tallahassee prison in 2012.

Also, the article from the Daily Mail is a fucking embarrassment. Even more so than they’re used to. At the roughly mid-way point there’s a random courtroom-esk picture captioned:

“Transgender: In addition to multiple counts of practicing medicine without a license with serious bodily injury, Morris (pictured) is also facing a manslaughter charge after one of her ‘patients’ died following surgery”

As if being a fake doctor-murder-person is the definition of “Transgender.”

It’s quality reporting like this that makes me appreciate a good episode of Skeptics with a K. Listening to them rip bullshit up like this is a special kind of great.

Ugh.

Also, run this story through Grammarly or a spell-checker. It’s worth the laugh — and that’s me saying that! ~ A

A Ring Of Demon Firehttp://bit.ly/2nkOMGC

  • A disturbing story out of Nicaragua, the Associated Press reports that 25-year-old Vilma Trujillo Garcia died after being thrown into a fire as part of an exorcism
  • Prosecutors said evangelical pastor Juan Gregorio Rocha Romero and four other people had been arrested.
  • Rocha Romero denied wrongdoing, telling the newspaper La Prensa that the woman fell into the fire without anyone pushing her and a demon exited her body.
  • Allegedly, Garcia tried to attack church members with a machete the week before… though, if I knew members of my church were the types of people who would throw me in a fire, then whipping out a machete sounds like pretty damn good self-defense.

Her husband was, as you might expect, devastated

“It’s unforgivable what they did to us. They killed my wife, the mother of my two little ones,” he said. “Now what am I going to tell them?“

Fuck This Guy And The Pope That Protects Him!

For Decades, a Religious Leader Abused Boys for Masturbating; They Had to “Bleed for Jesus” – http://bit.ly/2nkK4Z6

  • In the 1970s, at Winchester College, a boarding school in England, a man named John Smyth allegedly punished boys for the “crime” of masturbation by telling them they had to “bleed for Jesus”… before physically assaulting them.
  • Five of the 13 victims who came forward in 1982 told investigators for the [Iwerne Trust] that they had received 12 beatings and about 650 strokes. The other eight said they had each been hit about 14,000 times over a period of years.
  • Some of the victims received up to 100 strokes at a time for masturbating, having indecent thoughts or looking at pornography — beatings that caused some to faint or bleed for up to three weeks, the trust found.
  • That was 1982. You won’t be surprised to hear that nothing happened at the time. The beatings weren’t reported to the police. Instead, Smyth was sent to Zimbabwe… where he was charged with killing a teenager. He denied the charges, and they were later dropped. But court records showed he continued to abuse other children in that country.

“It’s about a mindset that allows this to happen. This sort of muscular Christianity enforced by theology, education and the cane that dominated the public education system and produced your caricature Englishman — strong, emotionally incapable in some ways, reserved and superior,” [priest and journalist Giles Fraser] added. “I think the idea that this is just about Smyth is in itself a cover-up,” Mr. Fraser said, “and it’s because the church is desperate for people not to say how all of this grows out of theology.”

War Of The Z-Wordshttp://bit.ly/2nkXtRf

local radio station in Randolph County, Indiana, sent out emergency alerts about a zombie attack and a related disease outbreak in the area Wednesday.

WZZY 98.3 FM radio station, on which the broadcasts were played, was taken off air

“Local alerts from WZZY 98.3 FM regarding a zombie attack and disease outbreak from deceased bodies is a result of the radio station alerting system being hacked. There is no local emergency. We have contacted the radio station and notified the Indiana Department of Homeland Security. Again there is no emergency or disease outbreak in Randolph County,”

The sheriff’s office reportedly said in a statement on Facebook, which, however, is no longer available.

Randolph County emergency management director Charles Shaneyfelt reportedly noted that the radio announcements warned about “a disease outbreak, diseased bodies, and zombies” and traditional emergency alert tones were used to broadcast the messages.

However, not many people believed the alert.

“Stay vigilant, folks, odds are the zombies would go straight for the sheriff’s department Facebook account first,” one Facebook user reportedly commented on the sheriff’s post.

Sheriff Ken Hendrickson also joked about the incident with local newspaper the Star Press.

“I’m glad my sons made me watch a couple of episodes of ‘The Walking Dead’ so I know how to kill them,”

Next Week’s Beer

Calabaza Boreal| Jolly Pumpkin Artisan Ales

Extra special thanks to Mrs. Shea, who not only puts up with us but gave us this beer!

Faith In Humanity Restored

Potatoes for Humanity – http://bit.ly/2nkKfne

“We picked potatoes because they’re funny and very inconvenient for the senator,” Temkin said. “If he ignores them, they’ll go bad.”

Bonus Cat Video

Join The Discussion

We’d love to hear from you!

To comment on a show or suggest a brew visit our web, Twitter or Facebook pages. As always, we’d love to get a good rating on iTunes or Stitcher!

P.S.We really tried this week Jenn. We did. And I dare say we did better than usual but… yeah… These are the terrible jokes drunk, male, feminists make… emphasis on drunk. Whatever, don’t be like us, visit http://www.heforshe.org to find out how to not be terrible like us! ~ A