Episode 149 – The Where We Fight Bears On Death Word!

Chapters

  • 00:29 – Intro
  • 02:52 – This Week’s Beer – Urig Wurzig
  • 07:49 – Patreon’s Beer – The Golden One
  • 08:06 – Round Table
  • 18:28 – HL1: Fractured but Pointed
  • 23:37 – HL2: God Damnit Florida…
  • 30:40 – HL3: Just Tell Them You’re White
  • 35:31 – Death World Durby!
  • 44:23 – Poor Return Rates…
  • 51:07 – Next Week’s Beer – Milk Stout
  • 52:33 – Faith In Humanity Restored
  • 56:17 – Outro
  • 57:01 – Outtakes

In this week’s show, episode 149, we get lightsomer and delightsomer as we put our bears on easy-mode in preparation for the coming apocalypse.

Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Juracán (the Taíno (Tay-no) god of hurricanes.) hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying his patience!

Shea’s Life Lesson

This week I learned that a tray of brownies is just one big brownie of you don’t cut it. Also sorry wife for eating your birthday brownie…

Steve standing in for Jenn’s Actual Lesson

Juracán is the name given by the Spanish to Taíno (natives of Puerto Rico, Cuba, et al) Zemi or deity of chaos and disorder believed to control the weather, particularly hurricanes. It actually means storms and according to the Taíno mythology, it was the goddess created the storms. Also, Juracán became the Spanish word huracánm and the English word Hurricane.

But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!

This Week’s Beer

From t’Boogs
Altenmunster – Urig Wurzig

Starts at 1 min into recording, use first bit as outtakes

The Golden One | High Hops Brewery
Donated By: RW

  • BA Link: http://bit.ly/2eSSchr
  • BA Rating: 82
  • Style: Fruit / Vegetable Beer
  • ABV: 6.3%
  • Aaron: 7 
  • Shea: 7
  • Steve: 6

This Week’s Show

Round Table Discussion

Welcome back to our regularly scheduled show!

We’d appreciate any feedback on last week’s show. These clip shows aren’t something we’re going to be doing a lot of, but when we’re sick, traveling or otherwise indisposed they’re a good way for us to keep content coming out on time.

Anyway, we need to dive into thanking our amazing patrons! First off, John, Joshua & Steve are this week’s best people!

If you want to rock it like they do, visit http://patreon.com/w4w

We got a voicemail from Reb’ox!
And one from Keegan!

iTunes Reviews

5-star review
By David the Oxford

A toast to good beers and an even better podcast. Thanks for providing laughter during a time when it is greatly needed. David the ox.

Raise a glass to this podcast!
By: Rebel*Ox

If you love to share a_ _beer with a group of fun, smart friends…. this is the podcast for you! Continues to be a favorite!

Finally, our next episode will be 150!

It’s not exactly the most celebrated number in podcasting but it was the one that Shea and I arbitrarily picked as a milestone of success in Episode 1 We’re likely to run a little longer that day, maybe drink a few extra beers, and if we’re really into it, some fun looking back. Regardless, it would be great to have some feedback!

We’d love to hear — at (513) 760–0463 — or on the twatters, books of face, etc what your favorite W4W episode or moment is! It would be very satisfying indeed to have a few messages and/or memories to relate next week!
Thank you all!

Headlines

HL1: Fractured but Pointed – http://bit.ly/2xglKzQ

  • Ubisoft’s comedy RPG South Park: The Fractured but Whole features various levels of difficulty, from easy to very difficult, much like most games.
  • What’s different though is the difficulty affects the color of your character’s skin.
  • What’s interesting is the easier the difficulty, the lighter your character’s skin. Conversely, the harder the difficulty, the darker your character’s skin. It means if you want to play The Fractured but Whole on a harder than normal difficulty, you have to play as a person of color.
  • During the process, South Park stalwart Eric Cartman will comment:

    “Don’t worry, this doesn’t affect combat. Just every other aspect of your whole life.”

  • The difficulty of the game affects the amount of money you receive and the way other characters speak to you throughout the course of the game. It is, quite clearly, a social commentary on racism in modern society, and as far as video games go, a pretty effective one.
  • In the last game, The Stick of Truth, players were necessarily boys. The new game also allows you to pick a gender; male, female, other; and if you pick non-male Mr. Macky calls your parents to confirm in a bit of dialog that retcons the genders of the first game. The game then asks if you identify as cisgender or transgender.

HL2: God Damnit Florida…

Florida sheriff begs people to not shoot guns at Irma – http://bit.ly/2eQMs85

  • Florida’s Pasco County police department had to warn residents Saturday to not shoot guns at Hurricane Irma, telling them that firing at the storm “won’t make it turn around.”
  • The trend gained traction after Ryon Edwards and Zeke Murphy created a Facebook event as a joke called “Shoot at Hurricane Irma” out of stress and boredom.
  • As of Sunday morning, 54,000 were marked as “interested” and 27,000 as “going.”
  • When the event time neared, Edwards clarified, “Well guys, it’s here. The moment we’ve been waiting for. It was cool to see the response this got from Facebook. On another note, I’ve learned that about 50 percent of the world could not understand sarcasm to save their lives. Carry on.”

HL3: – Just Tell Them You’re White – http://bit.ly/2eRrHsD

Before I even read the headline, let’s play a little game…

Everyone, starting with Jenn; what’s a ridiculous thing you could list on a resume?

I’m going to go with;

“Sugarhouse experience including tapping trees, traditional as well as modern Arch reduction, nitter removal and of course bottling that sweet, sweet Canadian nectar!

Jenn is Fluent in advanced sarcasm and capable of not caring about at least 3 things simultaneously.

Shea – Professional brail misreader and beer disposal.

Steve – flipped some burgers once, also he can dismiss woo-woo bullshit without a second glance.

Funny thing though, none of us thought to list being white…

  • Kimberley Paige Barnette, A candidate for mayor in Charlotte, N.C., listed being a white lady on her qualifications. No word yet on whether she’s going to nominate Pumpkin-Spice Latte as a running mate (heh, white girls joke).

The page read:

“REPUBLICAN & SMART, WHITE, TRADITIONAL.”

  • During a debate last month, Barnette said she doesn’t think the city should “encourage more lower-income people to [come to] Charlotte,” according to the Observer.

    “We should attract higher-income people,” she said.

  • Something tells me that she doesn’t mean “affluent” so much as “achromatic”…

This Week’s Stories

German Patron Bearshttp://bit.ly/2eRdNXC

Since all of our German listeners are patrons … we think … we found a story about them and their candy. Their terrible, nightmare candy.

A German Prof from the U of Michigan brought a bowl of Haribo sugar-free gummy bears to work to keep on his desk as, one will assume, a rare treat.

These gummies are apparently of German origin and hate you. Reviews from Amazon read, in order of increasing specificity;

“Eat two at a time. Three if you’re brave. But for the love of God and all things on this earth, DO NOT EAT ANY MORE,”

“OMG. Everything previously written is true. It’s all true. Don’t eat more than 15 in a sitting unless you are trying to power wash your intestines.”

“Not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I’ve ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I’ve had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me,”

”When the rumbling started I sprinted down the hallway and made it to the bathroom just in time for the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to stampede from my backside, laying waste to my home’s septic system AND my will to live,”

The sugar-free bear listing on Amazon now includes a warning about “intestinal distress.”

So, what’s the big deal? The guy wanted some colorful bears to clean the hibernation debris from his cave? Nope. His coworker is suing him. Because apparently, while he was out of his office, she ate the entire fucking bowl!

“First she excused herself from any commitments and then she called in sick,” he wrote, “The next day she confronted me and blamed me for the whole ordeal, that I deliberately placed those gummy bears and it was all a ploy to humiliate her.”

A hilarious situation, except that the bear-devouring coworker is now allegedly threatening to get the professor fired and deported.

“According to her she has already informed HR and her lawyer and that I will be kicked out of the country in no time,” he wrote, “The only thing I can blame myself on is that me and my colleagues giggled at her bowel distress signals.”

“She claims that I left the bowl in the open and it was baiting her and others to eat the ‘poison’ (her words).”

Considering that she had to avail herself of the treats in a coworkers office the suit is unlikely to proceed – but the HR issues could be another matter. We’ll just have to wait and see if the story gels. You know, once all the pieces pop into order. Poop joke.

Death World Durby!http://bit.ly/2xgWf1y

Story so nice the Daily Mail reported it twice … differently!
We have important astrological news this month!

From David Meade, a research scientist from… nowhere I could find, holding a master’s degree in statistics with a background in research and experimental design, has developed a unique and powerful approach to Pinewood Derby racing, model rocketry, astronomy, Christian numerology, and finding Death Worlds sent to destroy us.

  • David Meade is author of the conspiracy book ‘Planet X – The 2017 Arrival’
  • It claims a star is driving Planet X, also known as Nibiru, towards our own planet!
  • According to his theory, the apocalypse will take place between September 20-23, and the clues are written on the pyramids and in the Bible.

    ‘It is very strange indeed that both the Great Sign of Revelation 12 and the Great Pyramid of Giza both point us to one precise moment in time – September 20 to 23, 2017.”

  • He said, apparently not understanding what ‘precise’ means
  • As evidence, he says “The east/west parallel that crosses the most land and the north/south meridian that crosses the most land intersect in two places on the Earth – one in the ocean and the other at the Great Pyramid.” Which is especially meaningful when you disregard the one in the middle of the fucking ocean
  • Mr. Meade uses passages from the Bible to back his unusual claims
  • Mostly based on the Bible passage Isaiah, Chapter 13 9-10, which says;

    See, the Day of the Lord is coming – a cruel day, with wrath and fierce anger – to make the land desolate and destroy the sinners within it. The Stars of Heaven and their constellations will not show their light. The rising sun will be darkened and the Moon will not give its light.

  • Which makes sense, if you’re prone to believing that eclipses are a sign of the end times.

    ‘Nibiru and other stories about wayward planets are an internet hoax,’ Nasa has said previously. ‘Obviously, it does not exist.’

  • Poor Return Rates…http://dailym.ai/2y2p4Nd
    – Yulia Panferova, 33, from St Petersburg, borrowed around £66 to settle her debt
    – She said the loan company stated paying off her debt would ‘feel like an orgasm’
    – Panferova stated this particular incentive induced her to sign the credit contract
    – Lifestyle coach Panferova has demanded £13,200 compensation from company

    Thanks for the bullet points Daily Mail! Don’t let anyone say you haven’t got that going on for ya.
    ~A

    Next Week’s Beer

    Milk Stout – Duck-Rabbit Brewery

    Faith In Humanity Restored

    Kittens & Puppies Learn To Fly! – http://bit.ly/2xgMSyZ

    It was wheels up for around 80 orphan dogs and cats this week as they were flown from overcrowded shelters in storm-hit Houston to new lives in California.

    The approximate 1,400-mile trek opened up room in Texas animal shelters needed for pets whose owners have been displaced by Hurricane Harvey, according to California’s Helen Woodward Animal Center, which helped organize the move to their facility in Rancho Santa Fe. The animals taking the flight to San Diego were all already in animal shelters prior to the storm, the center said on Facebook.

    “There are shelters that have been devastated by Hurricane Harvey, without electricity, without supplies,” said the center’s president and CEO Mike Arms, who worked in partnership with Texas rescue group, Operation Pets Alive!

    The Helen Woodward Center previously partnered with Southwest Airlines in 2012 to move 60 dogs and cats on a donated charter plane out of New Jersey following Hurricane Sandy. The duo also helped evacuate animals from areas affected by Hurricane Katrina in 2005, according to the center’s website.

    Charity group Wings of Rescue also flew 180 dogs and cats from Texas to Waukegan, Illinois this week in hopes of finding them new homes

    Pics from Southwest Airlines: http://bit.ly/2xgMWPf

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    Bonus Cat Video