Episode 193 – The One Where We Pour 100-Proof Regret Into You

In This Week’s Show, episode 193, we drink and talk about drinks we won’t drink unless we’re drunk.

Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Rhea (the mother of the Olympian gods) hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying her patience!

Shea’s Life Lesson

This week I learned that Video Games perform significantly better than sunscreen at preventing sunburn, so I’m going to turn up my brightness and get a nice tan going.

Jenn’s Actual Lesson

Did you know that female ferrets will die if they go long enough without mating? After a few cycles with no…relief, they go into a permanent heat which can cause them to die of aplastic anemia. Ferret MRA’s and Incels consider it the appropriate punishment for them bitches.

But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!

This Week’s Beer

Sawtooth Ale – Left Hand Brewing

From awesome listener Eli

bit.ly/2tunl1o

BA Rating: 2.72/5

Style: Extra Special / Strong Bitter (ESB)

ABV: 5.3%

  • Aaron: 7
  • Jenn: 6
  • Shea: 8
  • Steve: 8

This Week’s Show

Round Table Discussion

Update: Trump balloon flew over London and now it’s coming to the US, specifically the DumpTruck National Golf Club in Hillsborough, NJ, with possibly more to come if the fundraising efforts come through.

New patron and Beer Club Member Timbo Slice!

New iTunes Review!

Are you an atheist, liberal, midwesterner, science loving, anime fan, drunk that also loves podcast?

by ChibiRuah777
RATING: ★★★★★

This podcast really tickles my fancy. It honestly feels like going out for a some drinks and wings with my friends from college. The podcast mostly covers just silly stories of almost every angle, whether it be pseudoscience, history of stupidity, religion, politics or just a large supply of cheese (with a dbz or full metal joke thrown in for fun). The podcast does bend left (so do I), so be warned of that. But honestly if you are on the right and can look past that, you will have a good time. so have a beer (unless you are like me and you are at work) and enjoy a very charming podcast.PS hear of the show from Cognitive Dissonance.

Listen to use on CogDis:

Thanks to LonelyWyoming and her friend for helping us be a little less lonesome on Brewfest! We had a great time, hope you did too :D

Hot Shots

Aaron – His name was Robert Paulson…
Step aside Hater, there’s a new meetup App out there … but it’s not helping anyone hook up. Although it is helping a few people’s right hooks. Scrap, available now on dude-bro’s phones near you, is an App that lets you swipe right if you want to kick someone’s ass. The app helps people who think getting hit in the face is a hobby find each other and a secluded place to brawl. But isn’t that illegal you ask? Well, shut up. Because the first rule of Scrap is no one talks… to the police… about Scrap. User Edward says “We set the time, place, gear, all that. It sure beats going out and picking fights with randoms who may not even want to fight.” Best of all, apparently it’s more or less understood that the loser buys the beer…
bit.ly/2Lqrbnp

Steve – Sikh’s seek to shorten title of Sunny story – Former adult actress Sunny Leone who’s original name was Karenjit Kaur Vhora has upset India’s Sikh community just by using her own name in the title of her new biopic series, Karenjit Kaur: The Untold Story of Sunny Leone. Apparently they specifically object to the Kaur portion of the name, claiming that since she changed her religion she cannot continue to use “Kaur” as it’s a very pious suffix given to Sikh women by Sikh gurus. An Indian group who’s name I cannot begin to pronounce wrote a letter to the series’ production company complaining about the title and did some whining tweeting. Indian actor/activist named Mona Am-bega-onkar replied on Twitter, “Why? Will removing Kaur from her name make her non-Sikh? She is a Sikh and she is not just a porn star. Get your head out of her Vagina. Sunny Leone was born Karenjit Kaur. Deal with it you pathetic bigot and misogynist.” bit.ly/2uA84hf

@SunnyLeone ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shea – A Decent Proposal

I don’t know how most people propose to their significant other but this is a new one for me. Brian Bonds was already on his knees when he popped the question to his shocked boyfriend Mason Lear. Bonds, a gay porn star, proposed to his boyfriend, right after they’d finished shooting a bareback gang bang scene together. Bonds said: ‘Well, this is the end of our tour and I can say that this was probably the best day that ever happened between us. And I’d love to do it over and over again, but there is one difference that I want. ‘I want you wearing this,’ he says.

Then he pulls out (no pun intended) a box with a ring inside.

He tweeted a photo of his boyfriend’s hand wearing the engagement ring, with the caption: We are finally headed home!! So ready to be back after all this time, but coming back knowing that @MrMasonLear is going to marry me someday soon (after lots of planning) makes this the best trip ever.

When one person responded in disgust (in a now-deleted tweet) to the way he proposed, Bonds clapped back. He tweeted: ‘This is how I wanted to propose to my future husband, with my friends around after and crazy fun time at the end of a month and a half long tour. I don’t give a buck-tooth fuck what conservatives (or anybody) thinks. We fought for our rights to love and marry who we want.‘The way I propose to my fiancé is my choice. And as porn actors, I felt this would not only be special to us, but to the industry. If this is going to be used as fuel to take away any rights we have, any conservatives can suck my dick. I charge extra for y’all btw. ‘And lastly, any conservatives who have issues with how I propose and with the fact that men love each other, need to get with the goddam program or do the world a favor and crawl into a hole and die,’ he tweeted.

bit.ly/2uA84xL

Aaron – But Is Magic Cake OK?
I think we’ve reported on the First Church of Cannabis before, but my recollection is a bit … hazy! (I’ve got a million of ‘em) Rolling up a 2015 RFRA case, Judge Sheryl Lynch of Marion Circuit Court decided on Friday that Indiana had a “compelling interest” in preventing pot-churches from connecting with their … higher … power. Apparently, allowing the church to… grow… in its sacramental use would put police officers in the “difficult position of having to evaluate the sincerity of a marijuana user’s religious faith.” There’s been no word yet on whether “special” wedding cakes will be allowed under Iowa’s RFRA laws, but I’m sure as long as the cakes aren’t getting… baked… in rainbow bongs, religious freedom will find a way.
bit.ly/2Lox18M

Steve – UK’s Bigot Dr. Gets Sacked
Dr. David Mackereth was fired from his job as a medical assessor for the Dept. of Work and Pensions for his refusal to use transgender pronouns of choice, which is considered harassment under a 2010 act. He claims that his Christian faith is the reason that he cannot treat people with a bit of fucking understanding (my words not his). He’s using the standard “we’re not even allowed to believe what we want” whining for the problem rather than his own pigheadedness and righteous indignation. He said his sacking has effectively ended his career since he would never be hired for another government or National Health Service job again. No word on whether or not he’s thinking of moving to Georgia or Alabama for work. bit.ly/2Lox1FO

Shea – Florida Car Calls Cops?

St. Lucie County Sheriff’s Office in Florida received an automated call from a vehicle’s emergency system Sync stating the owner had been involved in a crash. After the owner, Cathy Bernstein, denied she had been in a crash, stating that a car had only pulled out in front of her and did not hit her; the operator was skeptical. At the same time, police were investigating the hit and run. The driver of the van that had been hit told police she had been hit by a black Ford car. Police officers found the car at Bernstein’s home and saw that it had been damaged at the front, with silver paint from the van and an airbag had been deployed. It was then that Bernstein admitted to driving off after crashing into the back of a Dodge Caravan, because she was fleeing another hit and run, putting the female driver in hospital, in the city of Port St Lucie in Florida. Bernstein was arrested and taken to County Jail where she was charged with the accident. She was released on $3750 bail.

bit.ly/2uA85BP

This Week’s Stories

Patreon Story

Weird Drinks from Around The World (but mostly America)

Kopi luwak, or civet coffee.

We all like a cup of coffee from time to time. This is, apparently, especially true of the Civet, a slightly cuter badger-like animal native to – well actually lots of places in Asia – but the coffee is Indonesian, so that’s where we’ll focus. Kopi luwak is produced mainly on the islands of Sumatra, Java, Bali, and Sulawesi in the Indonesian Archipelago. Civet coffee is considered the most expensive coffee in the world at nearly €550 / US$700 per kilo – which puts it right behind Starbucks in terms of overpriced, oddly flavored, caffeine juice. Like lobster and fried chicken civet coffee came from the oppression of local peoples. While the Dutch East Indies were rich in coffee, they forbid the local farmers and workers from sampling it for themselves. Enter the palm civet. This curious little critter had a taste for coffee cherries and, not unlike corn, the majority of the bean went undigested. As such it could be … reclaimed … cleaned, roasted, and brewed.

Eventually civet coffee became a favorite of the Dutch plantation owners, and soon thereafter, the world. Producers of the coffee beans argue that the process may improve coffee through two mechanisms, selection, and digestion. Selection occurs as the civets choose which cherries to eat – i.e. those that are most ripe and flawless. Digestive mechanisms may improve the flavor profile of the coffee beans that have been eaten. The civet eats the cherries for the fleshy pulp, then in the digestive tract, fermentation occurs. The civet’s protease enzymes seep into the beans, making shorter peptides and more free amino acids. The idea being that the fermented beans have less caffeine and more “authentic” coffee cherry flavor. However, the Specialty Coffee Association of America (SCAA) states that there is a “general consensus within the industry … it just tastes bad”. Unfortunately, our story doesn’t have the happiest of endings. Because of the coffee’s novelty, international demand, and extraordinary pricing, civet “farms” have become little more than battery cages stuffed full of sickly animals being force-fed coffee cherries. The result is a mass-produced poo-coffee and a lot of dead civets.

Vodka eyeballing

This one… is exactly what it sounds like. The process, in its entirety, is pouring vodka into your eyes. The idea is that it will be taken into the bloodstream by the more-permeable-than-most-but-still-not-as-efficient-as-your-mouth membranes in your eye sockets. The “trend” was first reported on by the giant of journalistic integrity that is the Daily Mail. The entire mess came from one student trying to win a bet – no word on if the bet was what color of eyepatch he’d end up with – and after extensive research that apparently consisted of searching YouTube the Daily Mail declared it a trend in 2010 because they got a few search results. Since making a media splash the process of blinding oneself with vodka has actually become a trend, even being featured in the 2000 comedy film Kevin & Perry Go Large, wherein a character called Eyeball Paul engages in the practice. Vodka eyeballing was also part of the plot of the February 6, 2013 episode of the Canadian TV fiction series Trauma, leading to a young woman receiving (successful) cornea transplants.

Second Half

Jubilation & Intoxication

This past weekend Laramie had its annual Jubilee Days, this year actually celebrating Laramie’s 150th birthday. And celebrate the town did. The debauchery culminated on Saturday with a 5hr beer festival and continued until about 3am with street dances and live music.

I myself was unable to participate bc I jubilated Thursday and kept up with my husband for the entire night. Never a good idea, especially bc I have not been training AT ALL so basically spent Friday wanting to die and Saturday fearing I’d die. Happily, 2 out of 3 male hosts experienced the joy of the 2 day hangover after they full frontal Brewfested.

The 55~ hours of hell spent vomiting then dry heaving, detox sweating and feeling sounds gave me some time to reflect on things. Important things. And I started thinking “A guaranteed hangover cure would make A LOT of money.” Sadly, as far as history and personal experience has shown me, the only guarantee for a hangoverless next day is a sober night before.

But that’s not particularly fun. So why discuss success when we can instead discuss epic failures? Instead today I bring you some of the world’s weirdest, grossest and probably most useless hangover cures! (Personally, if I’m able to eat at all, sushi is my favorite hangover food.)

*Germany has what’s known as the katerfrühstück, or ‘hangover breakfast’. That sounds pretty normal, but it’s not a trip to IBob or whatever it’s calling itself now, no…it’s raw, pickled herring wrapped around pieces of onion and gherkin. Because your mouth doesn’t feel disgusting enough after a night of drinking!

*For a country of drunks, a certain Irish hangover legend is particularly unpleasant: getting buried up to your neck in wet river sand. Ireland’s not exactly tropical, so it’s basically a cold dirt shower. Personally, I think it’s more of a ‘Seamus was a right arse last night, let’s “cure” his hangover.” wink

*Norway has two strikes against going on any kind of boozy bender. 1.) It’s alcohol prices are super high (a couple of sources said highest in the world, but I couldn’t find any stats to verify) 2.) lutefisk is the go-to hangover cure. Lutefisk is basically a stinky block of fish soap that even Andrew Zimmerman can’t force down.

*Haiti has a pretty easy one on the sufferer, but the effectiveness all depends on your faith in voodoo. 13 pins should be stuck in the cork of the bottle that caused the hangover, which will cure the affliction. No word on how to choose when your night involved multiple bottles.

*British author Kingsley Amis (obviously a JK Rowling character) wrote in his 1972 book On Drink that hangovers are not physical so much as emotional. This means addressing the “the ineffable compound of depression, sadness (these two are not the same), anxiety, self-hatred, sense of failure and fear for the future” one may have after a night out drinking. The cure? Catharsis, of course: “A good cry,” he writes, reading the likes of the final scene of Paradise Lost, and ascending “for half an hour in an open aeroplane, needless to say with a non-hungover person at the controls.”

*The Polish like to down a glass of the brine juice from sauerkraut. Because it flushes toxins or something? I guess? Gross.

*Our Russian comrades say a good way to purge the vodka is with a good steam in a sauna and to smack yourself with birch branches. For a country led by a homophobic, violent thug, there are lots of reasons to get sweaty, mostly naked men in a room together. The birch spanking is just a little extra.

Namibia’s cure makes no amount of fun the night before worth it. *hurk It’s mixture called ‘buffalo milk’, but nah. Instead, it’s a mixture of clotted cream, dark rum, spiced rum cream liqueur, and whole cream.

*In comparison, the traditional Sicilian cure seems downright digestible: dried bull penis. Basically extra chewy jerky. No big deal.

More hangovers and intrigue next week in Part Two when Jenn finishes up her tour de farce of yee oldie hangover cures!

Next Week’s Beer

Sergeant Reckless | Lazy Horse Brewing – Ohiowa, NE

Nebraskan Brendon

Faith In Humanity Restored

Faith in humanity restored is about humans less and less these days. Something especially true of the clergy. So this week I’m quite pleased indeed to offer the story of not only a great Christian clergywoman but also a great story about women’s reproductive rights!

bit.ly/2uBAyXH

And no, that wasn’t a long string of typos.

Speaking to the Clergy Consultation Service on Abortion (CSS), an interfaith group that advocated for liberalized abortion laws in the late 60s, Rev. Dr. Donna Schaper is considering handing out the morning after pill… in church.

In an interview with Rewire, Schaper explains:

So where do we go from here? It’s almost like the Do-It-Yourself movement. We’re going to have to encourage birth control because unwanted pregnancies will have no solution for many people in many states.

The thing most of us have been talking about is to encourage the use of medical technology, the morning after pills and very good new drugs. We need to get some wise pharmaceutical company to make money off distributing them so people don’t need abortions, and/or smuggling the drugs in from Mexico or Canada.

There are already very interesting groups of women my age feel we could take the risk of loading up our vans to take road trips and give them out at churches. We’d see what kind of legal trouble one could get into because the drugs would be given away and are legal in Mexico and Canada.

(Emphasis from Friendly Atheist)

Basically, she’s an old-school feminist, hell-bent if you’ll excuse the pun, on supporting abortion and reproductive rights for women. Her mission has been for some time to show the world that the religious aren’t all pro-life and so far, so good.

Quick Second Faith: bit.ly/2uA86pn

7th grader Molly Pinta has reason to have pride in herself. After attending her very first Pride event she decided her town should have its own.

The 12-year-old, who identifies as gay, marched proudly with her mother Carolyn during Aurora Pride Parade in the Chicago suburbs last month.

Amazed by the experience, Molly thought to help her town – Buffalo Grove, Illinois – to organize its own march and celebrate the LGBTQ community.

‘We felt so amazed and wowed,’ she told NBC News.

‘I imagined having that in my hometown would be so cool and seeing the town supporting the community.’ She set up a GoFundMe and has raised over $6500 so far, with a goal of $30,000. She has teamed up with several Illinois LGBTQ groups, it has been approved and Buffalo Grove’s first pride parade is on the books and set for next June.

To make Molly even more badass, she also founded The Acceptance Club, a ‘gay-straight alliance’ at her middle school.

Bonus Cat Video

The Science of an Impossible Burger

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