Episode 202 – The One Where We Reiki Our Willy’s For Beto

In This Week’s Show, episode 202, we learn about the beer that Ted Cruz likes to elbow in the tap, and Jim welcomes Sir Harry Palms the Blind!

Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Hestia (the Greek goddess of the hearth) hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying her patience!

Shea’s Life Lesson

This week I learned that RDJ has a pretty proud drug dealer somewhere.

Jenn’s Actual Lesson Did you know that oxygen has a color? Well, not in its gaseous form, but as a liquid or solid, it appears as pale blue. Sorry, Shea.

Jim’s Good Gay News

Scruff, one of the largest and highest rated gay dating apps, taking on racism by changing how they display ethnicity data and sending messages to users who mention race in their profile. They’re not sure it’s going to work, but they’re trying SOMETHING…and that’s good gay news to me! bit.ly/2MKk31T

But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!

This Week’s Beer

Session Series IPL | Omaha’s Brickway Brewery

From: Brendon

  • BA Link: bit.ly/2o5ZpiR
  • BA Rating: 3.58/5
  • Style: American Pale Lager
  • ABV: 5%
  • Aaron: 3
  • Jenn: 4
  • Jim: 4
  • Shea: 8
  • Steve: 5

This Week’s Show

Round Table Discussion

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Steve-E

We just recorded another 4 More Beers! And it was live!

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Hotshots

No Sookie, that’s not it at all…

Available now at Patreon.com/w4w!

bit.ly/2xqZoLx

There’s a lot of blood woo. Beliefs in its magical ability to do all kinds of things are widespread. Depending on what woo you talk to it can do amazingly good things, or help in terrible and evil magic. But like all things perceived to have special powers, the beauty industry is all over it! There have a been a … rash … of spa treatments called vampire facials lately. See, they take your blood then centrifuge it which, according to Dr. Eshan Ali, is “where it’s spun around real fast,” separating the platelets from the plasma. The latter, of course, containing all that good junk you want shot back into your face to keep it looking… fresh. I guess. Given that your facemeat already has blood in it, I’m not sure how this is supposed to help. But what I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to do is give you AIDS. Recently, Mexican VIP Spas decided it was easier to just use the blood they had on hand. Yeah. Unfortunately, they didn’t cut out the middle steps so much as give people HIV/AIDS, Hep B and C, and of course, trauma. The Mexican Health Dept. shut the spa down for the time being and is advising the spa’s clients to go get tested for basically everything. Another great cautionary tale about not accepting the medical advice of people who aren’t in the medical field… also, don’t play with bloody needles. Things I shouldn’t have to say.

Education? Really? From MadMikesAmerica and Phoenix New Times

Arizona State Superintendent Diane Douglas decided that she wanted a biology teacher to be a part of the working group charged with reviewing and editing the states science standards on evolution. The thing is, the person she chose, Dr. Joseph Kezele, is a fucking young earth creationist who teaches “biology” at Arizona Christian University. Oh yeah, and he doesn’t have a degree in biology (undergrad in Russian, then medical school). What he does have is a long history of making creationist videos and heavily promoting what he calls “real science”, which he says confirms the biblical creationism story and his belief that the earth is only 6k years old and the whole Noah’s ark had dinos on it. The Arizona Dept. of Ed said they were unaware that Dr. Kezele was a quack creationist. This sounds like bullshit though since Douglas is on record saying that she’s a believer that “intelligent design” should be taught alongside actual science.

Weather Report Is Brought To You By Jeebus

Televangelists are starting to offer their…wisdom…about Hurricane Florence. Rick Joyner posted a video on his Facebook page upset that the Washington Post ran a story suggesting that climate change is making storms like Florence worse and that the Totalitarian Tangerine isn’t helping by rolling back environmental protections. Joyner explains that the Bible is very clear that it’s actually sin – SIN, I tell you – that is to blame. You might recognize Joyner as the man who once claimed Jeebus transported him (and his car) a distance that it would take two hours to drive. Not sure why he thinks large gaps in his memory will improve his credibility…

Not to be outdone, our old, old, crypt-keeper old friend Pat Robertson is celebrating Hurricane Florence. Or at least that his viewers followed his instructions to pray the storm away…but only from hitting Virginia Beach, where his CBN headquarters are located along with Virginia Regents – air quotes – University. It apparently doesn’t matter that the storm is destroying North Carolina and people are dying, it’s time to celebrate the power of prayer at work. Nevermind that storm predictions didn’t really Virginia Beach to be a direct hit anyway. Not sure why he didn’t have his followers just pray the storm away from land entirely…

9 Lives Mean 9 Times The Qi, Right?
bit.ly/2NpUHeS

I’ve talked about Reiki before briefly, but to sum it up it’s a massage where no one touches you. From animalrekiesource.com, this comes from Japan, which means it’s Asian and wise and biz. “Rei” means spirit and “Ki” means energy. So if you do enough Reiki, eventually you can shoot Spirit Bombs at your enemies… Sadly no, the idea is that you focus real hard and pretend to use the force to unclog your “patients” Ki pathways, which also makes them… not sick… somehow. Especially if they’re cats, who, it seems, are “especially sensitive to Reiki energy” but you have to offer your energy to them, not give it to them because cats are picky fucks. Really, the best way to do this is from across the room… or over the telephone. Yeah… But if all goes well, even timid cats will come thank you for … doing … energy around them. In the form of looking at you and then walking away. Now, thanks to your thinking about touching them but not really treatment, your pets will live to the ripe old age of when they get sick.

Trash Cleanup Isn’t Enough

Available now at Patreon.com/w4w!

From The Friendly Atheist

Adopt-a-highway is a popular way for communities to work together to pick up after the fucking pigs that live among us who just throw shit out of their cars like assholes. Unfortunately, people can’t just live and let live when it comes to who is actually out there trying to make a difference (surprised?). Indiana’s Satanic Temple chapter was recently approved by the state to clean up a stretch of highway in rural Zionsville (not kidding on the name), complete with the highway sign saying as much. This has, of course, pissed off locals who’s tender eyes can’t stand having that sign where they can see it. Local dumbass, Jill Konija, for instance, is on the record saying, “We’re obviously believers in God,” Konija said. “It’s like advertising a Satanic church in front of our home.” Her equally dipship neighbor, Mary Rosswurm, across the street is also happy to opine, “There could maybe only be one other sign that’s worse than that to have up from your house,” Rosswurm said. “Which would be the KKK (Ku Klux Klan).” Fortunately, the state said the Satanic Temple met all of the requirements and they’re doing the work so that’s that.

This Week’s Stories

Exclusive Story Available Now at Patreon.com/w4w!

bit.ly/2xriTTV

A Belgian brewery that relies on very specific temperatures to get their beer just right is watching the production window get smaller and smaller thanks to climate change.

Cantillon Brewery partnered with environment researchers to do a study, the results of which were shared on the Brussels Beer City blog this month. Cantillon produces lambic beer, relying on cool winter nights to inoculate their brew and warm — not hot — summer days to age it in wooden barrels.

What they found is the number of days when the temperature is just right has been on the decline for decades, dropping from 165 days in the early 1900s to 140 now. They expect the number of viable days to drop further, reaching 90 by 2100.

As the window narrows, their options to keep producing regularly will be to pack up for somewhere colder or start using modern technology to make their beer. Doing the latter, the brewery’s owner Jean Van Roy told Brussels Beer City, isn’t an option he wants to consider.

“I think it would change something in the Cantillon taste.”
Given how unique the Cantillon brewing process is, most people don’t need to worry that your favorite Canadian brew is at risk. Still, some brewers are already grappling with the impact and future impacts of climate change.

“Where climate change is going to affect our industry is in crop yields for barley and wheat,” said Roger Mittag, founder of Thirst for Knowledge and one of Canada’s leading beer experts.

The crops are tricky, he noted, because they need plenty of dryness but then some moisture as well. Extreme weather, be it excessive heat or excessive rain, isn’t good.

“If we get too much heat in many cases then it changes the characteristics of that particular barley crop,” Mittag said, “and that may affect what brewers end up getting out of it.”

Given Canada is one of the top global producers of malt and barley, there could be some national impact, he said. If it’s too hot and there’s less yield, the available starches could decline which could mean more crop is needed to produce the same amount of alcohol.

“There are probably some ramifications down the road,” Mittag said.

One of the co-owners of Muddy York Brewing in Toronto said while there hasn’t been much of an impact to date, they have seen an increase in hop and grain prices in the few years since they opened. Partly that’s inflation, he said via email, “but also lower yields due to seasonal differences.”

There are brewers grappling already with climate change’s impact on beer’s main ingredient: water. Some operate using well water, explained Lucy Saunders, a fermentation-focused chef based in Wisconsin, which gets trickier when extreme weather results in major flooding.

Jenn’s story:

bit.ly/2NY2zU9

This past week, a very vocal portion of conservatives were shocked to learn that Willie Nelson, an entertainer who counts the Clintons and Obamas among his friends, has written war protest and pro-gay cowboy songs, is left-leaning. That’s right, breaking news, Willie is a democrat and has decided to headline his first rally for Democratic Texas Senate candidate Beto O’Rourke (who is very pro-legalizing weed, which I think may be more Willie’s angle).

A few gems I gathered from Salon.com:

“Goodbye Willie … you are not on the right side,” lamented Melanie Philip. “Take a look around you and do the right thing … I always thought you were a patriot … wow what a letdown. You would pick a socialist agenda and an Anti-American fellow like BETO, shame on you.”

“I was going to buy his new release not now,” said Clara Peeples. “They will never learn I don’t care what he thinks about politics.”

“Willie use to be someone I looked up to,” posted Alan Huey. “Now he is just another John McCain with bitter hate and venomous garbage in his heart …. to bad … should have stuck to singing and smoking a little weed.”

“Willie, your pot smoking has injured your brain!” said fan Rhonda Knapp. “You would be well served to stay out of politics!!”

“Goodbye Willie, I don’t support socialist commies!” complained David R. Williams. “You’re not going to advertise on my FB page either. Like we say in Texas, Now Git!”

If you are unfamiliar, O’Rourke is facing off with everyone’s favorite melted-wax human suit, Ted Cruz. It’s not exactly fair to Cruz, as Beto may be the hottest piece of politician ass since Trudeau melted my maple syrup. Oh yea, in addition to cheekbones that could cut glass, he also just sounds like a pretty fun dude.

In fact, one of the charges Cruz and his people levied at O’Rourke is the fact…he was in a few rock bands. That’s how little fun Cruz has in the world. Here’s a brief sound of his 90’s punk rock band Foss. (see link)

Speaking of fun in the 90’s, conservative talking faces (and even a few Democrats running against him) have made much of the fact that O’Rourke has a criminal record (which he has always been upfront about). The way they discuss it you may think he ran a child slavery ring with the Clintons, but sadly it’s much less impressive. As one particularly anti-Beto ad claimed he “has a criminal record that includes DWI and burglary arrests.”

bit.ly/2NXUfUt

Yikes! A drunk burglar! Oh, wait, calm down, while a college student at the University of TX El Paso he happened to drunk a fence while in college in 1995 (which was labeled ‘trespassing’ and later dismissed) and he was found to have a misdemeanor DWI in 1999. Per the county record: ‘O’Rourke was referred to a misdemeanor diversion program in March 1999 and completed “DWI school” in May 1999. That document’s last entry, dated Oct. 20, 1999, says: “Misdemeanor diversion completed successfully.”

Again, O’Rourke consistently addresses and admits to these items in his background. In San Antonio, a resident told O’Rourke she’d seen what someone described as his mugshot. O’Rourke replied: “More than 20 years ago, I was arrested–not once, but twice. So you should know that and we should all own that if asked.” O’Rourke specified that he’d been arrested for attempting to hop a fence at the University of Texas at El Paso and later, he said, for a “far more serious mistake: I drove under the influence of alcohol. There’s no justifying that.”

Ok, so I’m satisfied a hardened criminal with very sexy forearms is not poised to possibly take a Texas Senate seat. So is there anything else that sad Grandpa Munster Ted has to throw at Beto in order to discredit him? Well, there’s also a thread of heritage semantics that’s interesting and a bit hypocritical. (shock face)

Lovely listener and fellow SheRa aficionado Melody sent us a cartoon by her friend Clay Jones, a very talented political cartoonist. (see link bit.ly/2xsB6Rf

The cartoon came with a somewhat lengthy but thoughtful write-up and I’m going to quote a bit directly: “Beto O’Rourke, the Democratic candidate for the Texas U.S. Senate seat is being accused of pretending to be Latino by supporters of Senator Ted Cruz, a guy many accuse of pretending to be Caucasian.

O’Rourke is currently representing Texas in Congress. His first name is Robert, which is where the nickname “Beto” came from, as it’s often short for “Roberto” in Mexico. It was targeted in an attack ad by Ted Cruz, whose first name is “Rafael.” Go figure.

Ted Cruz is not a man of principles, ethics, or charm. His campaign also targeted O’Rourke for being likable and made fun of his past skateboarding and playing in a rock band. Whereas, any personality Cruz has is stored in the basement of the Alamo.

Despite being a Republican in deeply red Texas, Cruz is in trouble. He’s seeking help from Donald Trump, a man he once called a “sniveling coward” for accusing his father of being involved in the assassination of JFK, and for making fun of his wife’s looks. Did I mention Cruz doesn’t have principles?

Nobody really likes Ted. Al Franken once said he likes Cruz more than anyone else in the Senate, and he hated Ted Cruz. Lindsey Graham, a fellow Republican, once said you could shoot Cruz on the floor of the Senate and none of his colleagues would convict you.

If Cruz loses his reelection bid for his Senate seat, the GOP would hate losing the seat, but wouldn’t miss Ted.

You can tell a lot about a person who likes Ted Cruz. It’s a sign that you don’t want anything to do with that person.”

Now to finish up with a bit more info on Beto, bc I think we’re all in agreement that Cruz sucks. O’Rourke gained a lot of online attention with a very thoughtful and intelligent defense of the NFL players who kneel during the anthem (do look up the clip, it’s excellent). He vows to strike down “toxic legislation like Senate Bill 6 and any regulation that discriminates against a student based on their sexual orientation or gender identity”. He pro rejoining the Paris Climate agreement and for “Empowering the EPA to exercise oversight of those harming the environment, particularly drilling, fracking, and pipeline construction”. He calls for a total repeal of DOMA (the bigoted defense of marriage act) and is very pro-LGBTQ rights. And for a Texan is very intelligent thoughts on gun control are probably terrifying. bit.ly/2PTFj7d

Next Week’s Beer

Farmer’s Daughter & Fire Fury | Half Hitch Brewing
From: Dodsno

  • BA Link: bit.ly/2o5ZpiR
  • BA Rating: 3.58/5
  • Style: American Pale Lager
  • ABV: 5%

Faith In Humanity Restored

www.cbc.ca/amp/1.4818816?__twitter_impression=true

We’d like to thank listener, Sir Hairy Palms the Blind, for this week’s Faith in Humanity Restored article. I hope you all are in a safe place now because this story is a doozy. Recently a young Canadian couple, Brent and Nicole Keryluke, with two small special needs children died in a tragic motorcycle accident leaving the children for Brent’s parents to raise. This alone is a sad story, but worse, the children both have hearing problems and require regular visits to Alberta Children’s Hospital in Calgary to see their speech therapists and audiologists. Well this is an expensive proposition, even in Canada, when the caregivers are retired. This led them to make the sad decision to sell their son’s prized 1973 Pontiac Parisienne which he had painstakingly restored and was hoping to pass along to his children someday. So, Ben and Marilyn Keryluke (Brent’s parents), took the car to Electric Garage Auctions with the hope of getting $14K in the sale. The auction house had promoted the auction with the family’s story and they got so much more than anyone expected. The car went on the block, with another retelling of his history, and sold for an amazing $29K. The buyer immediately donated the car back to the auction house to put back on the block, where it sold for $30K. The second owner of the day also donated it back immediately where it sold for $20K. The third owner then donated it back to the Kerylukes. While all of this was going on, other members of the community were also donating such that the family ended up with over $100K from the auction with money still coming in. They got the money they needed to properly care for their grandchildren and they also got to keep the car to pass along when the time comes. Cheers to generous Canadians taking care of their own.

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