Epsisode 209 – The One Where We Manage To Stay On Topic!

In This Week’s Show, episode 209, Aaron’s away so the cast will play. Now enjoy those stickers you got on Election Day. Let’s hope this election doesn’t go the same way.

You did get a sticker right? Right!

Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Manabozho (the dominant Algonquin trickster god) hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying his patience!

Shea’s Life Lesson

This week I learned that the legal name of Sloppy Joe is Untidy Joseph.

Jenn’s Actual Lesson

Did you know that unlike the more well known Native American trickster god, Coyote, Manabozho was actually known as The Great Hare. Sorta the Native Bugs Bunny.

But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!

This Week’s Beer

Half-Tanked Hefeweizen from Lander Brewing

  • From: Marie (lonely Wyoming)
  • Style: German Hefeweizen
  • ABV: 5.4%
  • UT: 3.69/5
  • BA Link: bit.ly/2SDThfS
  • Aaron: sad panda
  • Jenn: 8
  • Shea: 8
  • Steve: 5

This Week’s Show

Round Table Discussion

Still, fuck all – seriously, someone send us something!

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Headlines

Billing Cancer Quacks – bit.ly/2T0Un5B

Dawn Kali had breast cancer and instead of going to an Oncologist, she decided to see the best-selling author of “The pH Miracle”, Robert O. Young. Unsurprisingly, Young is not a doctor of anything. In fact, he has no post-high school degrees of any kind from any accredited school. He’s simply a charleton who has managed to convince dum dums that he can treat their illnesses. Well, this got him arrested, convicted, and imprisoned for practicing medicine without a license. He’s currently serving a three year,8-month sentence.

Back to Dawn Kali though. After Young promised to cure her cancer without surgery, chemotherapy or radiation she spent thousands of dollars for treatments

consisting of “cleansing her blood”, avoiding sugars, messages, colonic therapy, and

baking soda infusions. This didn’t work and cancer spread to her bones and which time she finally saw the light and went to an actual doctor. Then she sued that motherfucker Young.

After only three hours of deliberation, the jury agreed that Young is a fuckhead greedy narcissist and awarded Kali $1Mil. for medical expenses, $89.5Mil for future pain and suffering, and finally $15Mil. in punitive damages. The better news is that Kali, in spite of the sham treatments she received at first, is on the road to recovery with a life expectancy of four years and hoping the chemo and actual medicine will save her life.

The Chilling Adventures of Baphomet

The new Netflix Warner brothers series The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina has recently come under fire from the Satanic Temple after a familiar statue can be seen early in the fourth episode. The statue in the series bears a striking resemblance to the traveling Baphomet featured on the show numerous times, typically in response to politicians being idiots and overstepping their bounds.

It may surprise some of you that there isn’t just a standard Baphomet statue like there is of the Jesus. The only other notable Baphomet image is an 1856 drawing by Eliphas Lévi. And that image looks nothing like the statue. The drawing features a winged demon with lovely knockers and a similar head.

According to Lisa Soper, the production designer of Sabrina, who before Grieves tweeted their intent, said, the show’s statue was not modeled after TST’s. “I think that’s kind of a coincidence…,” Sopher said. “When you look at Baphomet, there’s really only a couple of statues of him — which, they have their statue, and we’ve got our statue in the show.” Or they Googled Baphomet and reproduced the first image result…

The Satanic Temple has announced its intent to sue Netflix and Warner Brothers for copyright infringement. The Temple said they hadn’t been asked for permission, but even if the show’s producers did that, the request would’ve been rejected. … Given the show’s utilization of the Baphomet statue to represent an evil cannibalistic cult, a perception falsely associated with Satanism even in modern times, TST would have denied its use to the show creators. Not only does it contradict what Baphomet represents, we owe it to those who identify with us to not allow this image, and by extension them, to be represented in this way” Grieves said. bit.ly/2SXhRbx

Peanut Butter Is For The Dogs – bit.ly/2zH5oQj

In East Lothian, Scotland there lived an Old English Bulldog named Biggie Smalls who’s owner said about him, “The dog is an absolute angel. I was happy to be around him. He gets a bit freaked out by noise but he loves having his belly rubbed.”

Turns out the dog’s unnamed owner is also a fucking idiot moron who, according to a police source, “applied peanut butter, or another food spread, to his crotch area”. The lovely Biggie Smalls is a huge fan of peanut butter. So much so, in fact, that he proceeded to eat not only the peanut butter but also the idiot owner’s dick and balls.

Neighbors reported hearing the bulldog barking at around 4 am and again at 8 am on October 7th, where there was a loud party in progress. Police arrived about 2:30 pm to find the dog covered in blood and the owner fully clothed and lying in a pool of blood. He was rushed to the hospital and placed in an induced coma for several days. Local media reported that the man’s genitalia was not able to be recovered. Upon regaining consciousness, the owner consented to the dog being euthanized.

This Week’s Stories

Oh, Shit Patreons… bit.ly/2zzmHTm

Have you ever accidentally fallen asleep at work and woken up in Chicago? An airline employee “inadvertently fell asleep” in the forward cargo hold of a plane, and remained there for the duration of a flight from Kansas City to Chicago, American Airlines said.

The male employee of Piedmont Airlines, a subsidiary of American Airlines, was working for a flight on Oct. 27 when he apparently fell asleep in the forward cargo hold of a Boeing 737 aircraft.

“The flight subsequently took off with the team member in the cargo hold, which was heated and pressurized,” American Airlines said in a statement. The flight landed “safely”(but why is safely in quotes?) at the Chicago O’Hare International airport when the employee was discovered upon arrival to the gate.

The employee, whose name wasn’t released, allegedly indicated to Chicago police that he had consumed “several alcoholic beverages,” no shit. CPD said they questioned the employee, identified as a 27-year-old man, at the airport before arrangements were made for him to return to Kansas City. He was not injured and not charged in the incident.

An archaeological Potato bit.ly/2zDp3k

An archaeological dig for one oppressed group of people led to an important historical discovery for another.

Two high school seniors from Archbishop Hoban High School in Ohio were a part of a dig at George Washington’s estate, Mt. Vernon last month. The two students, Dominic Anderson, and Jared Phillips were helping to excavate a section of the property known as the African-American cemetery, which oral history suggests was the resting place for enslaved individuals and possibly some of their freed descendants. However, while screen sifting, they discovered a rock that was basically a potato in shape and appearance. But it was more exciting than a potato! The boys took it to the Mount Vernon archaeologists working nearby, who said: “why are you bringing us a potato?”.

Ha! No, actually they determined it to be a stone ax head approximately seven inches long and three inches wide, around 6,000 years old, and that is believed to be work of a skilled Native American craftsman. Similar axes date to the Archaic Period of Virginia’s history (4,500-8,000 years ago) and would have been an important part of the Native American toolkit.

From the Mt. Vernon website:

“The axe is particularly interesting because it represents the skill and craftsmanship of the maker. To create this axe, a craftsperson worked a river cobble by first “chipping” it with a hammer stone to create a cutting edge along the face of the axe. The burgeoning tool was then hammered with a harder stone to create a smoother cutting surface by removing smaller amounts of the raw stone from the axe. These surfaces appear to have been ground, or smoothed, one final time through the use of a hard grinding stone. Finally, a groove was pecked along the backend of the axe head. This groove would have facilitated the attachment of a wooden handle to the axe for its use in wood cutting.

“The axe provides a window onto the lives of individuals who lived here nearly 6,000 years ago,” said Sean Devlin, Mount Vernon’s curator of archaeological collections. “Artifacts, such as this, are a vital resource for helping us learn about the diverse communities who shaped this landscape throughout its long history.”

So this story is all well and good and interesting until you look a little deeper and realize the supervising teacher for the school group’s own son was one of the teens who discovered the ax-potato. skeptical face

Evolution Still Valid Theory. bit.ly/2zzmO1e

This month’s volume of Molecular Phylogenetics & Evolution featured a paper describing how the world’s tiniest flightless bird came to take up residence on an island that it should have had no business on.

Was the answer the Great Flood? Jesus? Nah… it’s adaptation.

The island I am talking about in the South Atlantic is about half the size of Manhattan and boasts the somewhat ominous name of Inaccessible Island (not quite the poetry of Skull Island, but I’m still hoping for dinosaurs and massive apes). It also is the only home to a tiny fluff of feathers, just under 6,000 strong, known as the Inaccessible Island rail.

Now the mystery arises because the island is only a few million years old. When scientists first described the bird in the 1920s, they knew immediately that they were looking at something strange. Inaccessible Island is 2200 mi from South America and 1700 mi from southern Africa. The bird doesn’t occupy either of two nearby islands located less than 20 mi away.

They proposed before the theory of plate tectonics existed, that the bird somehow walked to the island over some sort of sunken land bridge. Turns out that theory was way off, as these rails appear to have descended from some avains looking for a vacation home that weren’t big fans of too much activity.

The bird’s DNA reveals that it evolved relatively recently from some visitor to the island, and lost its ability to fly from the forces of natural selection.

“It’s quite spectacular that the world’s smallest living flightless birds ended up in one of the most remote places ever,” said study author Martin Stervander, University of Oregon postdoctoral researcher. “It seems the birds arrived on the island, and since they faced little threat from predators, there wasn’t much point of flying.”

Yep, that’s right. The birds landed on Inaccessible Island and just fucking called it quits on the ability fly. But the science actually makes a lot of sense. Rails are notorious for flying wherever and settling in, with 53 existing or recently extinct species appearing only on islands, and 32 species losing some or all of their flight ability as a result. A population of the Inaccessible Island rail’s ancestors probably flew east into the Atlantic and ended up on the island — which was a sweet enough gig that they just didn’t need to fly anymore.

Because science is always learning, changing and growing, author Stervander pointed out that there’s more research to be done. The dataset on the rails was incomplete, so perhaps more data will reveal that the bird really does belong to a separate genus.

The bird’s only threats on Inaccessible Island are another bird species that sometimes eat eggs, and perhaps a few seabirds, and it’s unclear why the rail didn’t head over to the other two islands — perhaps a population tried and failed. And though the bird is living the good life, it’s still considered a vulnerable species. Flightless bird populations can easily collapse if humans bring invasive species with them, like cats or rats.

Luckily, Inaccessible Island doesn’t exactly have a Sandals bringing in hordes of tourists, so maybe these goofy little birds will be around a while longer.

Next Week’s Beer

  • German Chocolate Cake from TallGrass Brewing
  • From: RW
  • BA: 3.78/5
  • Style: English Sweet/Milk Stout
  • ABV: 5%
  • Link: bit.ly/2SLUjpQ

Faith In Humanity Restored

bit.ly/2SXJQbh

Not only does this Faith have a Wyoming link, it has a global reach. For our sparse lil state that’s saying something. Plus, it’s ecological good news!

If you’re like me, a human who gives a shit about the planet upon which we live and isn’t waiting for Jesus to fix it for us, everything that is happening environmentally seems one step closer to Blade Runner. Happily, there are still a few good news stories drifting around.

Last month Swiss billionaire and conservationist Hansjörg Wyss announced via a NY Times Editorial that he has pledged to donate over $1 billion over the next ten years via his Wyss Foundation. (The title of his piece cut to the chase: ‘We Have To Save The Planet, So I’m Donating Over a Billion Dollars Over The Next Ten Years’.)

Wyss wrote that the natural world is best conserved as public national parks, wildlife refuges and marine reserves, “forever open for everyone to experience and explore.”

“Every one of us—citizens, philanthropists, business and government leaders—should be troubled by the enormous gap between how little of our natural world is currently protected and how much should be protected,” he wrote. “It is a gap that we must urgently narrow before our human footprint consumes the Earth’s remaining wild places.

Wyss said the $1 billion will go toward a United Nations goal of protecting 30 percent of the planet by 2030.

To achieve this goal, Wyss has partnered with the National Geographic Society, the Nature Conservancy and Argentine conservation group Fundacion Flora y Fauna to launch the Wyss Campaign For Nature.

Oh yeah, I mentioned a Wyoming link. Well, 83-year-old Mr. Wyss made most of his billions through the medical tech company Synthes, which he sold in 2012. Where did he decide to retire? Wilson, WY, where he has lived since 2011. One of his main inspirations for his dedication, per his Op-Ed, are places like Yellowstone. (I wonder if there is a Missus Wyssus…?)

Closing this on his words: “From the forests that supply our drinking water to the rugged backcountry that inspires the imagination of our children, everyone on Earth has a stake in conserving our planet’s wild places before they are gone. I believe that to confront the global conservation crisis, we need to do far more to support locally-led initiatives that conserve lands in the public trust, so that everyone has a chance to experience and explore the wonders of the outdoors.”

Bonus Cat Video

LOL, Homeopathic Hospital video – bit.ly/2zBuQXD

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