Episode 219 – The One Where Andi Travels The World-Disk To Do Our Hair

In This Week’s Show, episode 219, we’re joined by the lovely Andi of ReasonCon3 to set sail on a magical, wish granting, racist boat… but at least it has free beer?

Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Silenus (the head satyr in Dionysus’ retinue) hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying his patience!

Shea’s Life Lesson

Last we heard from the Yeti he was frolicking on Spaceship Earth in Epcot.

Jenn’s Actual Lesson

Did you know Silenus is often pictured drunkenly riding a donkey? He had a temple in Elis where the personification of drunkenness, Methe, is handing his statue a glass of wine.

But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!

This Week’s Beer

Beer – Blacksmith from Village Brewing

Donated: DodSno

  • BA Link: bit.ly/2QSFvbS
  • BA Rating: 3.55
  • Style: American Black Ale
  • ABV: 5.4
  • Aaron: 8
  • Jenn: 9
  • Steve: 9

This Week’s Show

Round Table Discussion

We’re joined by Andi!

Voicemail from Charles

I just listened to your show where you sampled Bell’s 2 Hearted ale. The name and label give a nod to Hemingway’s Story and the actual river in the upper peninsula of Michigan famous for its trout. I have actually fished the river and followed the recipe for Hemmingway’s trout.

~ Dave

Finally, we have a very special birthday happening on the date of airing.

HotShots

Let’s Sail The 7 Sees… Wait.

bit.ly/2QEa9Rn

Flat Earthers are at it again. This time, it’s a feet usually reserved for sassy sailors and 80-year-old singles. That’s right, it’s the 2020 Flat-Earth Cruise! Billed as their “biggest, boldest, best adventure yet!” The article kind of made it sound like “rapper” B.o.B. and Tila Tequila will be there too… for… celebrity… I guess. Oh, and did we mention that “ships navigate based on the principle that the Earth is round,” said Henk Keijer, a former cruise ship captain. “Nautical charts are designed with that in mind: that the Earth is round.” Keiher, now a forensic marine expert for Robson Forensic cited the 24 satellites orbiting Earth that provide the ship – and the rest of us – with GPS data. As the name implies, the process of triangulation used by GPS satellites to determine your location requires three points of reference to do so, so, “had the Earth been flat, a total of three satellites would have been enough to provide this information to everyone on Earth. But it is not enough, because the Earth is round.” The group wants to avoid the implications of… facts… by staffing the ship with Flat-Earthers, unfortunately, “I have sailed 2 million miles, give or take,” Keijer says, “I have not encountered one sea captain who believes the Earth is flat.”

Jenn’s Wishes Granted!

bit.ly/2QJ7tlo

Astute listeners will recall a comment Jenn made last week wishing she had the super-cool mutant power of “never hearing the men in her life.” Well, good news everyone! In what I can only assume is a breakthrough for women everywhere, a Chinese woman identified as Ms. Chen awoke this week able to hear her surroundings and female friends, but not her boyfriend. She rushed to Qianpu hospital where a female doctor, Dr. Lin Xiaoqing analyzed for reproduction… I mean… for curing, her condition. “She was able to hear me when I spoke to her, but when a young male patient walked in, she couldn’t hear him at all.” The night before Chen had suffered from a nauseating ringing in her ears, but the article doesn’t say what her boyfriend was on about… or what his name is. Doctors were initially puzzled by the symptoms, but once the doctor-dude-bros left the room the diagnosis of “reverse-slope hearing loss” was shared. A condition “in which she could only hear high frequencies,” so women, and Shea when he’s singing for the Pope. Apparently, the problem affects 1 in 13k people with hearing problems. So there ya go Jenn, ice-pick yourself some hearing problems and roll those dice!

Too Drunk? Have A Beer at patreon.com/w4w

Where this story is ready to download now!

bit.ly/2QHnxnS

From Vietnam News, and a few other places because, wow really!? Nguyen Van Nhat, 48, was admitted to Quang Tri General Hospital because he was fucking wicked drunk. Like god damn, wow. he had 1,110 times the legal limit in his blood… of methanol that is… On Dec 26th, the head of Intensive Care and Toxic Management, Le Van Lam, decided to do the only sensible thing, pour one can of beer per hour, for 12 hours, down his feeding tube… also IVs, dialysis, and whatever, but also beer! He explained that methanol- and ethanol-alcohol are very similar. So similar they’re metabolized by the same enzyme but ethanol has a greater affinity for the enzyme, meaning that the body will metabolize more ethanol, allowing the less easily metabolized methanol to remain in the system to be filtered by the hardest working kidneys in the world, and excreted. Apparently, this is a known procedure but doctors are quick to remind people that the beer’s ethanol simply slowed his bodies metabolization of the methanol giving the dialysis process the time it needed to save his life. Ending, predictably, with reminding us all not to feed overly-drunk people more beer to make them less drunk. Seriously, I don’t want to see “#Survived the #MeathanolVsEthonalChallenge” trending next week damnit!

UpShots

Two among a long list of upshots to visiting patreon.com/w4w

“Update Hotshots” that is, none of this will be looking the brighter side of anything…

bit.ly/2QGvEAY Recently revealed to be an insane-person Allison Mack is on trial for sex-trafficking, forced labor, and blackmail among other things. The last one was what helped her form the cult Nxivm, which brainwashed, abused, and literally branded dozens of women. Mack demand nudes to buy entrance into the cult’s female-only inner circle and then threatened their publication if the women didn’t do whatever freaky shit psycho-cult leader Raniere was into that day. Well, her lawyers are citing the president Scientology set when charged with the epically shitty treatment of people. According to the argument, since Mack only had nudes to hold over the women’s heads and no threats of physical violence were made, the fear of “reputational damage and isolation from loved ones, therefore, did not qualify as serious harm” and therefore were not coercion or blackmail. While we don’t know if the Cultess of Steel will prevail with this argument, the Scientologists did.

The Conceptual Update

bit.ly/2QFXnlm

Peter Boghossian, professor, and equality-troll says Portland State is disciplining him for publishing hoax papers. You may recall the massive backlash he and two colleagues, who like totally for sure aren’t sexists, received after conspiring to submit more than two dozen hoax papers. The post hoc rationalized Sokal hoax sought to expose the intellectual dishonesty and academically questionable nature of feminism through the careful application of bullshit and dog rape. Because of privacy policies and the like PSU has been unable to comment. Peter, however, has commented at length through a PR team which also released statements of support from other “free thinkers” like Richard Dawkins, Steven Pinker, and Jordan Peterson. When asked if he would be at PSU in 2019, he replied “ask me next year” which would make more sense if the article mentioned the quote was from 2018. I guess we’ll see how it goes, but it’s nice to know that there’s someone somewhere tasked with the job of adjudicating horseshit.

This Week’s Stories

Blind Patreon Challenge!

Birdbrain challenge bit.ly/2QYMQSB

Released late last month Bird box staring Sandy B was released on Netflix. The movie, which received mixed reviews, became an inexplicable well for memes over the holidays. Netflix announced that 45 million people had viewed it on the platform in the first seven days after its release.

For those who haven’t seen it, a mysterious force decimates the population, only one thing is certain — if you see it, you die. The survivors must now avoid coming face to face with an entity that takes the form of their worst fears. Searching for hope and a new beginning, a woman and her children embark on a dangerous journey through the woods and down a river to find the one place that may offer sanctuary. To make it, they’ll have to cover their eyes from the evil that chases them — and complete the trip blindfolded.

Well, an interesting/stupid ass challenge has arisen from the movie. Starting with a few simple memes making fun of Sandra doing stuff with a blindfold on has blown up into people putting on blindfolds and doing stupid shit for the internet. That challenge prompted a warning from Netflix on Wednesday to not take the joke too far.

“Can’t believe I have to say this, but: PLEASE DO NOT HURT YOURSELVES WITH THIS BIRD BOX CHALLENGE,” Netflix tweeted from its official account.

“We don’t know how this started, and we appreciate the love, but Boy and Girl have just one wish for 2019 and it is that you not end up in the hospital due to memes.”

This ridiculous challenge is a bid for more views and internet stardom, why don’t you just start a podcast like the rest of us. Many people have shown videos of them trying to navigate around their house and towns and one man walks into a wall while holding his toddler and a woman admitted into the er for a broken foot while attempting the challenge. One YouTuber hot more than 2 million views for doing a 24-hour challenge where they went to the casino and attempted living life as an idiot. These challenges are just an attempt to get more views and internet stardom and this Netflix meme is no different.

Second Half With Andi!

Andrew Johnson, a New Jersey high school wrestler, was told by referee Alan Maloney that both his hair and hair cover violated wrestling rules Mike Frankel, whose video of the incident has been viewed more than 12 million times, with the comment “epitome of a team player”.

bit.ly/2QXfZ06

He said: “The wrestler’s coaches argued the referee’s decision for several minutes until the referee started the injury time clock. In the face of a barrage of criticism, Mr. Frankel apologized for “missing the bigger picture”.

“Obviously it was naive of me to run with the ‘consummate team player’ angle,” he said.

“In my mind, it was just the ultimate selfless move from a high school athlete. I know now I missed the bigger picture, and for that I apologize.

“Things can be ‘framed’ in a number of ways. According to many of you, I missed the correct ‘framing’ here. I understand many of you watch this video and feel strong emotions. I do too.

“I’d just like to remind you that I didn’t cause the action, I documented the action. And my method of delivery fell short in many ways.”

The referee, Mr. Maloney, was criticized in 2016 for reportedly using a racial slur against a black referee at a social gathering of New Jersey wrestling officials.

He allegedly poked Preston Hamilton in the chest and allegedly used a racial slur during a row over homemade wine.

The state’s Interscholastic Athletic Association said they were recommending Mr. Maloney not be assigned to any event until the issue had been reviewed more thoroughly.

Gov. Philip D. Murphy of New Jersey said in a statement: “Seeing Mr. Johnson forced by an official into a choice between giving up who he is or giving up his ability to compete was nothing short of disturbing. That he went on to win his match after this experience speaks to an incredible depth of character — and to our need to see that no future student-athlete has to endure a similar situation.”

Terrible Old Lady Touches People

bit.ly/2W0Dqte

Next Week’s Beer

Donated by: RW

Jubelale from Deschutes

Faith In Humanity Restored

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Today’s faith is a little different than what we normally discuss, and I actually wouldn’t have thought to use it until listener T on Twitter suggested the story as a possibility. So thanks, T! And folks, bear with the start, it’s dark.

On the night of October 15th, 2018, Barron, WI authorities responded to the home of the Closs’s after receiving a disturbing 911 call. Gunshots and screaming had been heard but no one was speaking to the dispatcher, which is rarely not a terrible situation. And indeed, upon arriving the police discovered the bodies of Jaymes and Denise Closs, and later tests showed they had been killed with a shotgun.

It was quickly discovered that their 13yr old daughter, who was home that night, was missing. For months, thousands of people joined search parties as investigators received thousands of tips. The FBI offered a cash reward for information on her whereabouts, and authorities urged hunters in the area to be on the lookout for clues.

Ok, here comes the faith…after 87 days missing Jayme was found this past Thursday (January 10th) in a rural Wisconsin neighborhood about 70 miles from her home. She had managed an escape from the home her captor had kept her for months and made it to a neighboring home. A dog walker spotter her and took her to neighboring home and practically the entire neighborhood gathered around (some armed “waiting for the suspect to come looking for her”). 911 was called and the brave little girl gave a full description of her captor, his vehicle and home. He was quickly arrested and Jayme has been reunited with her family and her dog, Molly.

So this brave little girl has surely brought a lot of hope to families of missing loved ones. Other captivity survivors, like Elizabeth Smart, have reached out offering Jayme support and understanding. Her hometown is covered in ‘Welcome Home’ banners and ribbons and posters of love and encouragement.

Out of something so awful, a lot of hope.

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