Episode 94 – The One With The Room Full Of Dicks

In This Week’s Show, episode 94, Chad joins us to talk about Norway’s flood of tax-free imported BYU voodoo that you do!

Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Ster-quil-inus,  Roman god of manure, hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying his patience!

Foundation Beyond Belief.org – Flooding Southern USA

Remember, send us a screenshot of your receipt or whatever and we’ll send you the Patreon cut of that weeks show!
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Shea’s Life Lesson

This week I learned that if you flip someone off at the exact moment lightning strikes it’s called The Thunderbird and it’s currently the most powerful known swear.

Jenn’s Actual Lesson

Jenn is in Portland this week and next, perhaps learning more actual lessons :(

Also, thanks for the show name Jenn ;)

Jim’s Good Gay News

Follow up to a previous faith – Zumba instructor shot in Pulse massacre has taken his first unassisted steps – if only lawmakers and religious zealots could do the same and take steps against guns or hate.

But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!

This Week’s Beer

Dunkel by Yee-haw Brewing Co., Tennessee, United States

Brought to us by Emma

Aaron’s black and tan, perfect 10.

This Week’s Show

Round Table Discussion

No new patrons, though we did get an amazing donation this week.

Along with the donation, a message:

Fuck off, Ken.

Thanks for the generous donation Ken!

He also left us a voicemail, and if you want to be as awesome as Ken you can drop us a drunk dial at Voicemail: (513) 760–0463

Thanks, Ken! I’m glad to know we’re picking up traction in Taiwan!

…he asked us to tell him off so… yeah, there ya go.

And a drunk dial from Dan, who I assume, knows about pizza!

Excellent kitty name!

Emails

From Dennis:

Hi guys and lady,

just wanted to give you another perspective on the topic. You we’re saying that it is their business if they wear a burka or not. Here in germany it is allowed, though in my opinion it should not be. You may ask why. In germany you have to be identifiable, you have to carry your identity card with you and your face can’t be hidden (like it would be by wearing a ski mask). This should actually make the burka illegal (since you can only see the eyes), it is not because religions get to do what they wan’t here. Right now we are talking about making it illegal (burqa and niqab) but I doubt it will be.

Greetings from germany

Dennis

P.S. Dunkel XD sounds so funny when you say that or even better Hefeweizen :P

RustPyro

This is rustpyro and I while listening to the end of episode 093, I thought of an awesome cat name. How about “meowkavich meowkavich”…

Cheers!!

Congratulations to Scathing Atheists (and like a million other shows) Eli Bosnick for tricking a lady into marrying him!

Sadly, Jen will be gone this week and next. But never fear, your favorite queer is here to endear…. rhymes…

We’ve had a few great submissions for cat names. We’re leaning towards Kitty Pryde, but keep them coming!

Welcome studio guest Chad!

He’s an actual and for real brewer so you know those beer tips weren’t total bullshit. Chad has also donated some awesome glasses so we won’t make Tom and Cecil cry anymore.

Next week we’re excited to have the amazingly, the knowledgeable, the cheesy [snare drum] Felicia from Utah Outcasts. She’s The president of Atheists of Utah, so that should be a fun interview.

Headlines

Norway’s Largest Church Now Allows People to Opt Out Online, and Thousands Have Already Done It – bit.ly/2bMjJ1A

  • Norway’s largest church, Lutheran with 3/4 of the population, recently set up a website where people can update their memberships
  • This allowed people to opt in or out of the church altogether.
  • What they found out is that rather than people opting into the church, the response is overwhelming the opposite
  • 15,053 people left in 4 days, with only 1369 enrollments

A New York Church Had Its Tax Exemption Rightfully Revoked, and It’s Suing to Get It Back – bit.ly/2bEtn8P

  • Tonawanda, New York city assessor revoked tax exempt status for the Holy Protection Orthodox Church
  • They will now be responsible for about $5000 per year property taxes
  • The fuckers weren’t using the building for any services or church-related activities
  • They were only using it during the Canal Fest (some local event) where they were selling $70K-$100K worth of food due to it’s Main Street location
  • The church is suing to regain their tax-free status

Outrage in Russia after religious leaders back female genital mutilation – bit.ly/2bMkasW

  • Two douchebag Prussian religious leaders have publicly declared that female genital mutilation could reduce sexual promiscuity
  • A former spokesman for the Russian Orthodox Church, Douchey McRussianName, hurried to defend a cunt Muslim Cleric who said, “All women should be circumcised so there would be no debauchery on earth so that sexuality is minimized”
  • Research by the Russian Justice Initiative, an NGO, found that in areas where the practice continues female genital mutilation tends to be carried out on girls up to three years old, without anesthetic and often in unsanitary conditions.

This Week’s Stories

Shea’s Story

New Voo-Doo for the Vagoo from the land of Witch Doctors. Sorry I mean reverse abortions now being performed in New Orleans. – bit.ly/2bMk0li

  • Here’s how that works: Normally, women who are taking pills to induce an abortion would take a drug called mifepristone. (It blocks the progesterone needed to keep the pregnancy going.)
  • About 48 hours later, they take another drug called misoprostol. (It contracts the uterus, ending the pregnancy.)
  • The “abortion reversals” essentially work by targeting women who have second thoughts after taking the first pill, by giving them doses of progesterone before they take the misoprostol.

This, unfortunately, isn’t the first time this drug has been pushed either…

A few moths ago South Dakota amended their informed consent process to require doctors to tell women it’s possible to discontinue a medical abortion between taking the first pill, mifepristone, and the second drug, misoprostol, which causes uterine contractions to end a pregnancy.

The bill also states that “information on discontinuing a drug-induced abortion is available on the Department of Health website,” but so far nothing about reversal is listed there. – thecut.io/2bMlkVj

Aaron’s Story (Patreon)

Tony Perkins has been speaking on behalf of God for a long time… and I think the big cheese is finally tired of it…

God destroys home of anti-gay leader Tony Perkins in flood of ‘biblical proportions’ – bit.ly/2bMjCmE

  • Tony Perkins, president of the anti-gay Christian group Family Research Council, revealed this week that his home and been destroyed in a flood “of near biblical proportions.”
  • “This is a flood, I would have to say, of near biblical proportions,” the Christian lobbyist announced.
  • Perkins said that he and his family were new living off of “God’s provisions,” and had relocated to their RV, which had been spared.

But don’t worry, it’s not the gays… this time. It’s Obama’s fault!

Trump could have “sent a postcard” and still did more than President Barack Obama has done.

  • ”I mean, look, it was three days and people were criticizing George Bush,“ Perkins told Fox News’ ”Fox & Friends” program, referring to the criticism the former president got for his fly-over after Hurricane Katrina.
  • ”I remember Katrina well,“ Perkins continued. ”I was on the phone with Karl Rove giving them kind of an assessment from the ground, and part of the problem with President Bush coming in was we had a Democratic governor who did not want him to come in and steal the limelight.”

Don’t worry, though, The Drumf has him covered…

  • The Republican presidential nominee donated $100,000 to the church where the hate-group leader is an interim pastor.
  • Trump visited the church, located in the Baton Rouge suburb of Greenwell Springs, and made other stops in the area at the invitation of Perkins. The church is affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention, the nation’s largest Protestant denomination, which believes that being LGBT is a sin. The Greenwell Springs church’s website includes a “Statement on Marriage and Sexuality,” which reads in part:
  • We believe that any form of sexual immorality, such as adultery, fornication, homosexuality, bisexual conduct, bestiality, incest, pornography or any attempt to change one’s sex, or disagreement with one’s biological sex, is sinful and offensive to God.
  • It asks church employees and volunteers to “abide by and agree to” the statement and “conduct themselves accordingly.”
  • So basically. This guy’s a cunt and if we’re to believe … him, he’s doing teh gay stuff and god smooteded him real good.

Jim’s Story

Report: Brigham Young University punishes gay rape victims, not rapists – bit.ly/2bMkIPl 

Several current and former BYU students told The Salt Lake Tribune that rape victims who come forward are themselves investigated for potential punishment under the school’s “Honor Code”

The paper profiled 6 LGBTQ students who reported being assaulted on campus

Code prohibits “homosexual behavior”

“Not only sexual relations between members of the same sex, but all forms of physical intimacy that give expression to homosexual feelings.”

This includes kissing and holding hands.
The Tribune puts forth the idea that by penalizing rape victims, the university may actually be enabling rapists, who know their victims risk discipline if they report their assault to the school.

Rapists on campus can prey upon victims of the same sex assured they will never be punished by BYU, and that their victims will stay silent.

Original article (bit.ly/2bMjMuo) describes suicide attempts, statutory rape,  BYU already under review by the Feds for how it handles sexual assault reports

20 LGBT groups have called on the Big 12 Conference to keep BYU out because of its policy about “the Gays.”

”I felt trapped,“ one victim said. ”I felt like the only way I could continue living was to stay with [the rapist] because he was the only one who was supportive.”

First “secret” boyfriend, he was 17 and boyfriend was 25 (illegal in UT)

“If a similar report was made by a minor student today, she said, the case would be referred to police and the Title IX office, which investigates sex crimes, and any Honor Code investigation would be suspended.”

“He received a folder of religious writings about the dangers of homosexuality and met weekly with the Honor Code counselor.”

”I got really into it, and really into church, and was convinced I was going to cure myself of my gayness — which seemed to be what the Honor Code Office wanted me to do, based on the readings they were giving me,“ he recalled. ”… I wanted it to go away forever, especially after trying [a relationship] once and seeing where it got me.”

Another victim was drugged and assaulted. He didn’t have the name of his attacker, his home state, age, etc. He crawled to a window well the next morning and sent his GPS coordinates to a friend.

”To go back to BYU, I might have to finish talking about it. … I’d also have to talk to the Honor Code Office, and I wasn’t going to survive that.”

Bisexual female – feared to report because visiting instructors already reported that she was also attracted to women.

Her roomies had an anti-gay bible study. He found her in tears, and

”He was the first person I’d ever talked to who didn’t care. He didn’t tell me I was sinful. He didn’t ask me when I was going to get that fixed. … So when he said, ‘Hey, do you want to come to my place instead of going home?’ I agreed.”

Second Half – Tasting Beer With A Brewer

Hopping Gnome Brewery in downtown Wichita, KS.

Roller Derby Rye-PA from Ashley

  • Brought to us by Ashley
  • ABV: 7%
  • Aaron: 8
  • Jim: 2
  • Shea: 6
  • Steve: 2
  • Chad: 4

Next Week’s Beer

Big Bad Baptist | Epic Brewing Company

Recommended by our guest next week, Felicia of Utah Outcasts

Faith In Humanity Restored

You may have heard — earlier in the show [cough] — that Tony Perkin’s house is under water. And while that’s just funny, the rest of the folks in Louisiana could use some help. Check out the Foundation Beyond Belief for ways you can help: foundationbeyondbelief.org/flooding-southernusa

Atheists Are Raising Funds to Help Flood Victims in Louisiana. Please Consider Chipping In! – bit.ly/2bMkpnA

Join The Discussion

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Bonus Cat Video